Standing Resolute

Today is the final deadline for my dissertation.

Yesterday (for you, today for me) I handed it in. Admittedly I had a mad moment and forgot that I had printed it double sided so the binder for it is too big, but it's gone.

It was a really strange moment when I slotted it into the hand-in box. On the one hand, intense relief that it was all over. On the other, fear that there was nothing else I could do now.

Now that that part of my life is over and done with, I feel like I can finally start the new year. Happy 2015!

With that in mind, I thought I'd share my goals for 2015.

1) Graduate with at least a 2:1 - I'm on target for this, and as much as I would love a 1st this is a more realistic goal for me.

2) Find a full time job - I'm not in a huge hurry to move out from my folks house for real, but I want to start looking towards that, so a job is vital.

3) Get work experience in a field I'm interested in - Literary organisations, charities, publishing houses all appeal. But I need to get my foot in the door with an internship.

4) Keep up blogging! - I was so proud of myself for completing blogmas - and thank you to everyone who stuck it out with me! This little blog means so much to me, and I'd love to grow it over the year. With that in mind, I'll be sticking to my Tuesday/Friday schedule.

5) Write more - I'm doing another creative writing module this year, so this shouldn't be a problem, but I'd also like to write more casually.

6) Practise Self Care - this involves doing pilates every day, eating well, keeping my room tidy, flossing, keeping up my language learning (I'm using Duolingo to learn French and Itallian), reading widely, maintaining skin care etc. Things that make me feel good about myself.

That's all for now - let me know your goals for 2015! You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter - I'm @vickimaitland everywhere!

On Honesty

Increasingly I am led to believe that honesty is truly the best policy. Not only being honest with others (which really is the only way you can have a good relationship with them) but also being honest with yourself.

I can’t count the amount of time I’ve made To-Do lists with 20 odd items on them and been disappointed at the end of the day if I’ve only done half of them. The amount of times I’ve set myself a word count to reach by the end of the hour and been gutted when I’m 50 or 100 or 300 words away.

Having goals and aspirations is great, but if you’re a bit of a perfectionist like me then not reaching goals can be the most destructive thing you can do to yourself. I know when I don’t reach a goal I’ve set myself not only am I disappointed in myself but I also become disheartened with the activity I’m doing and often that is the end of my productivity.

Recently I’ve started writing To-Do’s with two headings. Under the first heading are the things I absolutely must do today – things like doing the reading for next week’s class, washing up the mess I made the night before or writing a certain number of words for my dissertation. Under the second heading are the things I need to do but aren’t as urgent as the first. Things like writing a blog post, or putting on a second load of washing, or painting my nails. Not only does this mean I prioritise right from the start of the day, but I also feel great when I start crossing off things on the second list.

However, this has got to come with some stern talking from yourself. If you find yourself not doing tasks that you really should be doing (and you can’t just set lower total goals) you need to ask yourself why. Most of the time when I’m not doing the things I need to it’s because the thing I need to do is intimidating me, or because I can’t be bothered to put in the effort. In scenario’s like this (usually essay writing in my case) I find it really helpful to set lots of tiny goals with tiny rewards for achieving them – so long as all these tiny goals add up to the daily goal. For example, if I can write 250 words in the next half an hour I can get a biscuit with my cup of tea. If I go over the word limit or get so into it that I go over the time limit, I can watch a YouTube video. Small goals met boost my enthusiasm for a task, and usually mean that I perform better.

In summary – be honest with yourself. Be honest with what you can achieve in a day. If you’re consistently underachieving, ask yourself why and be honest with your answer. Being straight talking with yourself will really help, honestly.

Things I've Done

Too often when we look back we think of things we wished we had done or things we wished we could change. The end of this summer has been full of these kinds of  thoughts for me, and I really don't enjoy having that kind of negativity in my life. I wanted to make a list of all the things I've done this summer, just to remind myself how lucky I am for all the things and people in my life. We should always be grateful for the good things, and try to forget the bad, so having a big old list of happiness to look back might just be what the doctor ordered. If you chose to do the same, let me know, and we can share in each others good memories.

1) Traveled further than I ever have in the rest of my life combined. This summer I got to visit both Austria and Hungary, and they are two very beautiful countries. I highly recommend a trip if you haven't been.

2) Read at least 90% of my TBR shelf. At the start of the summer I had a big pile of books I'd accumulated over the academic year, and I've managed to read most of them over the 3 months I've had off.

3) Posted regularly on here. One of my big goals has been to maintain this blog to the standard I want, and for the most part I've managed this. I now have roughly 20 hits each day (some days a lot more, some a lot less), for which I am very grateful. There will be a couple of changes once term starts, but I'll fill you in on those at the end of the week.

4) Spent time with people I care about. A huge chunk of my summer has been spent with either my family (in the opening months) and latterly my friends. They have been so supportive of me for such a long time, and they really do mean the world to me.

5) Watched the sun rise from both sides. I've stayed up so late that I've seen dawn, as well as woken up before the sun. Both are equally beautiful experiences.

6) Enjoyed a 5 course meal. Whilst in Austria, the hotel we stayed in put on a 5 course meal each night. Though it was far too much to manage each night, I don't think there was a bad dish on the menu!

7) Written. As someone on a creative writing course this might sound silly, but I have done huge chunks of writing this summer. Most obviously on here, but I've also written for myself and in the new academic term I'm getting published in the university newspaper. I'll post a link here when it's online.

8) Dyed my hair. This might be a nothing thing to a lot of people, but my hair is a huge part of who I am. It's one of my most defining features, so changing it in any way has always been a pretty scary prospect for me. This aside, its also not very hardy as far as hair goes, so I've been worried about the amount of damage it might incur were I to dye it. I took the plunge at the start of last month though, and have been loving the results. I don't think I've quite achieved the colour I want yet, but I've had a blast experimenting and learning. I also got to experience two hours of my boss sighing, shaking his head and laughing at my new hair. He doesn't understand why people wear makeup, let alone want to 'paint their hair'.

9) Improved at my job. I work with children and when I first started back in October I'll be the first person to admit I was a little intimidated. Over this summer I've been working 3 shifts a week and have formed a closer relationship with the children and my colleagues. I love where I work, and its nice to feel like I've made progress, even if that feeling is only coming from within myself.

10) Been spoilt. My friends and family have been so incredibly lovely to me over the summer - they have been understanding and kind and giving. I couldn't ask anything more of them. My family have spoilt me by taking me away on holiday and giving my money to buy things I want rather than things I need. My friends took me out to lunch the other day and are always doing little lovely things for me. At the risk of becoming very soppy, I cannot be more grateful for the love they have given me.

If you chose to make this list for yourself and feel comfortable sharing it, please let me know (@VickiMaitland), I'd love to read it.