Women on the Internet whom I Admire

I wanted to write something for mental health day, but my thoughts are no solidified enough to even begin to turn them into something legible here. However, what I will say is this: if you are suffering from any kind of mental health issue (even if you think 'well, I'm not feeling as bad a X person in my life so I'm juts making a fuss over nothing') PLEASE talk to someone. I cannot state enough the importance of telling somebody the words 'I'm not okay', even if you sob them out. By saying the words out loud you make them real, and admitting to another person (or people) that something is wrong is the best way to enable yourself to start getting help.

But, now, on to the real crux of this post: Women on the Internet whom I Admire.

This list is by no means exhaustive and I'll literally only be talking about YouTubers (sorry, fellow bloggers, I admire you very much too). It's also in no particular order.

Sadie - defense360 

Sadie is a woman who is wiser than her years. I admire her art, her passion, and her creativity. Here is her most recent video:





Linda Barsi

Linda quickly became one of my favourite people on the internet when she started giving out excellent writing advice and her position there was solidified when she opened up about her struggles with mental health. Funny, unafraid to open herself up, and, once again, creative - there is plenty to admire in Linda.





Rosianna Halse Rojas

Rosianna was one of the first British female YouTubers that I watched religiously and still do. Rosianna is insightful, driven, and honest, and I strive to read as deeply and as eloquently as she does. All her videos are rather excellent, but I'm glad that I get to share this most recent one with you.





Leena - justkissmyfrog

Leena is funny, intelligent, and sarcastic. Her 'stupid questions' series is excellent and her 'banging book club' with Lucy and Hannah (two other women who I've had to miss off this list or else it would be far too long) is brilliant.





Lex - tyrannosauruslexxx

One of the things I admire most about Lex is the fact that she hasn't changed her inexplicably complicated YouTube name... Her sense of humour is so perfectly dry and I really aspire to live in as moral a way she does. Her most recent video speaks volumes on the kind of person she is:






Estee Lalonde

I bought Estee's book, Bloom, the other day and I'm already loving it. She is a young woman who speaks and acts with great poise and dignity - even when she's pulling faces and making fun of herself. I adore how down to earth she is and her relationship with her boyfriend, Aslan, is the ultimate #couplegoals in my book - two people who respect and admire each other for everything they do. Her most recent video is a classic beauty guru makeup look, but her channel is so much more varied than that.






Jessie Cave 

I discovered Jessie through her Instagram account and immediately fell in love. It wasn't really until I went on her YouTube channel that I recognised her as 'the girl from Harry Potter'. I haven't been watching her videos for very long but her Untitled Vlogs series cracks me up no end. Her editing style is brilliant and I love her creativity.





Jen Campbell

Jen Campbell is another woman I admire because of her talent and insight all at once. I have been watching her videos for a while now and they just keep getting better. I aspire to read as widely and deeply as Jen.






Margaret - JustMargaret

Margaret makes videos very rarely nowadays but when she does I devour them within moments. She is a young woman who has been through an awful lot and I admire her tennacity, her honesty, and her passion - among other things.






I am going to end this list here, although it could very easily go on to include Kristina Horner, Kayley Hyde, Carrie Hope Fletcher, Sanne Vliegenthart, Hannah Witton, Lucy Moon, Jean (bookishthoughts), Lauren (renkellym), Lauren (readsanddaydreams), Fran Meneses, Louise Pentland, and many, many more besides.

(Edit: Can't believe I left Amanda (shessomickey) off this list first time around. I'm also sure this won't be my first edit because there are so many brilliant women on the internet doing clever and interesting things.)

Watching women on YouTube has been one of the most important aspects of my own personal growth and it is fair to say, especially for my longtime loves, that without these women I wouldn't be the person I am today. Thank you, ladies, for shaping me.

Blogmas 6: Why I Need Feminism

The other day my university's Feminist Society were doing a whiteboard campaign where you had to write why you need feminism. I spent most of my morning trying to figure out what I wanted to write, and came up with a tonne of ideas.

I Need Feminism Because...
My body, my choice.
Cat Calling =/= Compliment.
My smile is not your possession. 
I deserve the same opportunities as my male friends.
I deserve the same pay as my male colleagues.
No never means Yes.
Men shouldn't be taught that the worst thing they can be is a girl.
My gender is not an insult.
It's 2014, so I shouldn't need feminsim.


The list could go on. And, as I said, it shouldn't have to. Who'd have thought that in 2014 we would still be fighting for gender equality?

This all feels particularly important considering that this month ElleUK released their Feminism Issue. Although it is actually pretty good as far as what it is saying - lots of powerful women and relatively inter-sectional (albeit majority white, with very little disability and 'plus-size' representation) - it got me wondering: why isn't every issue of ElleUK a feminism issue? Elle is a magazine written for a female audience - surely every issue should be promoting feminist causes? I was also somewhat confused by the number of (specifically straight white male) voices in the issue. I am all for male allies to the feminist cause, and I'm a huge supporter of the #HeForShe campaign, but in an issue that claims to privilege women it uses a lot of male opinion.

Next month is their Body Confidence Issue, and I'm curious too see how they go about tackling it, considering how prescriptive the fashion industry is about body image.

Here is the final slogan I decided on:

I need feminism because when I wear make-up I wear it for me.

I thought this was particularly appropriate because of the high content on beauty posts on this blog. I love make-up, and over the last year it has become a real passion of mine. I've had a number of discussions with various people who have said to me that 'boys prefer girls who wear less make-up' and I've found this really insulting. Not only does it reduce me to the value men place on my looks, but it also devalues my autonomy. When I apply make-up in the morning, I do it because it gives me peace and the confidence to face the day. I used to be concerned about going out without make-up, and if I have the choice I'll always put a little mascara, concealer and fill my brows, but I don't mind leaving the house without any on. I'm also very aware that I don't need the amount of make-up I put on my face to make me 'conventionally attractive' - I'm already white, of average height and weight so I tick all of those boxes. I apply make-up because it's a process I get a lot of enjoyment out of, and because I like the way I look with it on, regardless of what men might think of me.

Sorry if that got a little ranty at the end, but its something I feel very passionately about.

Tomorrow's post will be a beauty one as promised.

Let me know why you need feminism by tweeting me @VickiMaitland or leaving a comment below.

The 'Feminism is my Jam' Tag

This tag was created by Kristina (@KristinaHorner) in coalition with Feminist Apparel (so sorry for the obvious plug in the last question). I was not tagged by anybody, but wanted to join in the fun! Here goes!

1) How and when did you realise you were a feminist? I think I was probably 17 when I began to identify as a feminist. I always knew I was interested in women's issues, but when I began to expand my online world from the realm of young British male YouTubers into a more female centered one that was when I really learnt about feminism. I studied is as a political ideology during my A Levels and found myself getting more and more passionate. I'm still learning though, so if you ever feel the need to call me out on something please do!

2) What is your favourite feminist book/movie/song? Its not strictly feminist but I love Lily Allen's F*** You (I'm asterisking just in case) as it is super bolshy and empowering. I also love the Sister Suffragettes song from Mary Poppins. My favourite TV show is Parks and Recreation, which is super empowering and has such strong female roles.

3) Where do you go to read up on current feminist topics? Tumblr, Twitter, YouTube and Facebook - I make sure the people I follow are people who are interested in and support feminism. I'm also a member of my universities feminist society, and their weekly discussion groups are really interesting.

4) How do you 'treat yo' self'? Buying makeup and home-ware is a huge treat for me. I'm just starting to really get into make-up and it can be really expensive when I want to try out everything. I'm also trying to make my room look more homely this year, so investing in candles, pot plants and flowers is a big treat.

5) What is the most effective way to explain feminism to a newbie? Going slowly and being patient with them is very important. Calling them out and explaining why you are calling them out is also important. I'd also probably show them Emma Watson's He for She speech as it is a great starting point for people who are ignorant to feminist ideas.

6) Fill in the blank: I kick the patriarchy to the curb by _____? Like Kristina, I think speaking up and calling out are the best ways to get feminism heard. I also try to support female creators where I can, and I'd estimate that a good 90% of my YouTube feed and Tumblr dash is female ran.

7) Do you have any feminist YouTubers to recommend? Rosianna, Leena, Lex, Anna... The list could go on.

8) What is your favourite Feminist Apparel t-shirt? I love the 'Cats Against Catcalls' tee as well as the 'I Think Your Sexist Jokes Are Boring' one. Sadly I own neither, but would love to if I had the money.

I tag anyone who wants to take part, as well as the ladies at Parallel Magazine (you can support their kickstarter here)

On Jennifer Lawrence and Nude Images

The non-consensual sexualisation of young women is a growing epidemic in our society, from school dress codes stating that young girls cannot wear strappy tops in the summer to clothing choices being an excuse for the sexual violation of the female body, and, with nude photos like the one recently released of Jennifer Lawrence being taken ever more frequently, it is a problem which needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

Before I say anything more, I would like to mention that I have not seen the photo and do not wish to see the photo, and the image will not be linked anywhere in this discussion. I do not want to take any part in the commodification of this or any other young woman’s body when their consent has not been fully ascertained, and I urge you to do the same. Please do not google Jennifer Lawrence nudes, do not give websites which publish this image the hit counts, do not buy media which distributes this, or any other non-consensual nude image. Thanks.

The prevalence of images like this exists off the back of paparazzi culture, and the thinking if you choose to step into the public, if you choose to open up any part of your life to the world, then you have to give up all parts of your life. This is, of course, a ridiculous thought process. Ultimately all humans have the right to privacy, whether or not they have chosen to allow the media or general public into a small aspect of their life, and this right should be respected. This is particularly true of young women, and it is young women whose right is most frequently disregarded.

I recently saw a series of facebook comments about the Jennifer Lawrence image, the first stating that Lawrence looks ‘banging’, and the second stating that if they were that good looking they would happily be naked all over the internet. Whilst that is perfectly valid choice, it is, in fact, a choice. Jennifer Lawrence had no choice over these images being released. She may have taken the images, but she didn't give her consent for them to be shared. This society has an awful tradition of taking non-consensual nude pictures of young women and excusing it because they are considered good looking. This mentality is damaging to women everywhere, not least Lawrence’s young fans. These fans see that the female body can be used (without the will or consent of the female) as a commodity to gain web hits or sell magazines.

However, this line of thought is even more disgusting when placed against the media criticism of people like Miley Cyrus. Cyrus has been exposed to media vitriol, perhaps because she has full power over her body and she actively chose to reveal it in her ‘Wrecking Ball’ video. The society which shrugs off the non-consensual nudes of Lawrence as a fact of celebrity life (and it’s okay because she’s ‘banging’) is the same society which condemns the nudity of Miley Cyrus – who reveals her body out of choice.

Yes, Jennifer Lawrence is a beautiful young women, but if she wanted to share her naked body with the world shouldn’t that be her choice? Answer: Yes. We need to protect the privacy of young women and we need to respect their power over their own bodies.

Paparazzi celebrity culture as a whole is dangerous and damaging, but this is one of its most damaging aspects. We as consumers need to stop the demand for these kinds of images, and speak out loudly against them. Once the media realise that this is not what people want to see, they will stop seeking out the images.

If you as a consumer do want to see naked women, there are plenty of consensual photos for you to look at.

This post has taken the place of my August Wrap-up and September TBR, which will now be the next post you’ll see. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you have any comments feel free to leave them below or tweet me @VickiMaitland.

#reviewsdaytuesday: BBC2’s Blurred Lines: The New Battle of the Sexes.

After a long weekend away from any and all internet, I finally got round to watching BBC2’s one off show about sexism and the media Blurred Lines: The New Battle of the Sexes, and I have to say it was rather good.

The show covered a lot of ground, including sexism in comedy, sexism in journalism and sexism online, with the premise that it would uncover to what extent the new media had allowed a new kind of sexism or misogyny to breed. Before I go any further, I am going to outline my personal definitions of the terms feminism, sexism and misogyny. These are not dictionary definitions, but simply what I understand the words to mean.

Feminism: The belief that there has been, and continues to be, a systematic oppression of female/women identifying individuals due to the social structure of ‘patriarchy’ – or the dominance of men in society (specifically, cis, straight, white, middle-aged, middle-class men*). Feminism wants to remove this structure from society, and replace it with a system which benefits male indentifying and female identifying individuals equally, of any race, ethnicity, weight, mental or physical ability, or sexual orinetation.

Sexism: Behaving in such a way that assumes that one sex is lesser than the other, specifically that female identifying individuals are lesser than men. A prejudice against female identifying individuals based on their indentity as female.

Misogyny: A hatred of all female identifying individuals, and an active attempt to oppress them and an internalised prejudice against them.

I hope those definitions are clear to everyone. If you have any questions, or need further clarification, feel free to contact me here in the comments, or on my twitter @VickiMaitland. Please note, however, any abuse I experience on any of these social media platforms will result in report.

* I use the term ‘female identifying individuals’ in order to be as inclusive as possible towards the struggles of transwomen and intersex women. I did not use the term ‘male identifying individuals’ in this instance because patriarchy also systematically oppresses transmen and intersex men. The discussion in this post, however, will be primarily focussed on the experiences of women, however, as this was the main concern of the BBC2 programme.

On the whole I believe this programme did an excellent job of showcasing the various forms of sexism and misogyny that women experience in their everyday lives, as well as the mountainous problem we have to face in order to begin to break down this sexist and misogynistic society. It did this primarily by showcasing  the (frequently ridiculous, and, frankly, mostly irrelevant) opinions of middle-aged, middle-class, white men. Unsurprisingly, many of their opinions were concerning, particularly the one of a comedian, who stated that once women were equal they became ‘fair game’ as a punchline – seemingly forgetting that after centuries of oppression by men it is completely unfunny for men to mock them. Comedy only works provided it is poking fun at the oppressor, not the victim of oppression. Making a rape joke in which the victim is the punchline is wholly comparable to making a slavery joke in which the slave is mocked. It is disgusting and inappropriate in a society when the balance of oppression has not been redressed, not to mention highly triggering.

The idea that ‘women should be able to tell when something is a joke’ was another opinion which stormed its way through the programme in various different forms, along with its sidekick ‘it’s not my fault if you get offended by something if I meant it as a joke’. We all need to take responsibilities for our words. Whether or not offence was meant, if offence is taken it is only right to apologise and learn. This links to another worrying view which was expressed: the idea that words on the internet do not matter, as if the internet were this magically fairy land where you can say anything without consequence. The internet, as the programme stated, not only reflects our world but also shapes it. It is just as real as the words in a newspaper, or the words spoken during conversation. Just because something is not tangible does not make it any less real. Just because threats and discrimination can be made anonymously doesn’t make them any less serious. It was particularly worrying as this argument came directly after the interviewer had presented evidence that mild, inferred sexism from journalists on and offline turns into extreme misogyny on social media platforms, which in turn becomes validated in the media.

Interestingly, however, there was also evidence to show that non-sexist men are not made sexist through an exposure to sexist media or comedy. Sexist men, on the other hand, are validated in their opinions and are made more sexist by this. Laughing at a sexist joke only serves to validate the opinions of sexist men. A wonderful quote ran roughly as follows: ‘Sexism is like air pollution. We’re not all producing it, and not all in equal quantities, but we’re all breathing it in.’ This quote is so fabulous as it not only articulates how everyone is effected by sexism (men and women alike), but also forms a wonderful backlash to the cry of ‘not all men’ which is so often heard in debates over sexism. Yes, obviously not all men contribute towards sexism, but all men (and all people) need to be part of the solution.

I’ve spoken quite heavily on the different views of the white, middle-class, middle-aged men which were interviewed, and you may be wondering where my commentary on female opinion will begin. This was one of the main flaws of the programme. It tended to give far more airtime to the views and opinions of those whom it was arguing against than those it was arguing for. Rarely we got to hear about the female experience from a woman (other than words given to us by the presenter Kirsty Ward), and although Germaine Greer and Mary Beard were fascinating to hear from not once were we given the voice of a person of colour, or an obvious member of the LGBTQA+ community. This was a programme wholly encompassed with an old fashioned idea of feminism, the type of feminism which only concerned white, middle-aged, middle-class women. I had hoped, since this programme was directly addressing new media, and today’s sexism, that it would give voice to all female identifying individuals. For me this was the programmes major failure.

The programme also attempted to cover a lot of ground – which sadly meant it didn’t really fully deliver on many of the things it said it would in the opening preview. There was very little discussion of music and music videos. Similarly there was minimal discussion of gaming and the ‘geek girl’. This is not necessarily the fault of the programme itself, but rather the fault of the BBC, as this could easily have been a series with each episode focussing on a different aspect of sexism and the media, rather than a one off, one hour long show.

I'm sure there are plenty of elements of the programme I could have gone in distinctly more depth with, as well as there being many ares I have not covered at all. If you have seen the programme, and do want to contribute to this discussion, I would love to hear what you have to say. If you want to contribute but have not yet seen the programme, I would prefer you check it out first. It should still be here on iplayer for the time being. 

All in all I was impressed with the show, and for me (a cis, straight, white, middle-class woman) I felt my experiences were relatively represented and recognised. I just wish so much of the programme hadn’t been based around the opinions of white old men telling me how I should or should not feel.

July Wrap-Up and August TBR

Hey guys, sorry about the brief unintentional hiatus, but I've been picking up shifts at work, trying to sort my house stuff and taking every opportunity to sit outside in the glorious sunshine we're having in little old Blighty! I've really missed blogging and I've sat down so many times about to start, but then tumblr happens and it all sorta goes out the window. So, to ease myself back into things, even though its not quite the end of the month yet, here's my July Wrap-up and August TBR!

July Reading Wrap-up

The first book I picked up in July was NW by Zadie Smith. As I said in my previous TBR post I hadn't really enjoyed the first Zadie Smith I'd read, but oh my goodness I ADORED this book. NW is the voice of London, it captures it's spirit and its soul. Free indirect discourse that imitates stream of consciousness, poem, graphology, this book is a writers book. I really must write a full review of it, but in the mean time I cannot more highly recommend it. 5/5.

Then I started reading The Red House by Mark Haddon. Now,  in direct contrast to Smith, I had loved my first exposure to Haddon (The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime). I enjoyed Red House, but after reading NW it felt like it was trying to do what Smith had done, only more clumsily. It was a good story with some nice plot twists and a decent capturing of an awkward family holiday, but it wasn't anything special per say. 3/5.

I then read three books from the same series on the trot - these were Douglas Adam's The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe and Life, The Universe and Everything. I really enjoyed all of these, even if there were moments in each book where I felt a bit bored with the plot, the good moments more than made up for these. Adam's is such a delicately witty writer - aside from the typical slapstick. I gave them 4/5, 3/5 and 3/5 respectively.

As it was such baking weather, I decided it was perfect to read the end of Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. I'd seen the Disney adaptation with the fella a few days before picking it up again, and I'm sad to say it may have hindered my enjoyment of the book slightly (Treasure Planet is one of my favourite Disney films). This being said, I was gripped during the last part of the book (where it most drastically differs from Treasure Planet) and really enjoyed my reading experience. I gave it 3/5. I also would really recommend watching the two-part Sky adaptation staring Eddie Izzard as Long John and Elijah Wood as Ben Gum, as well as Rupert Penry-Jones, Daniel Mays, Phillip Glenister and Donald Sutherland. It's pretty faithful to the book from what I can remember (although I watched it a while ago).

Luckily for me, the heat wave in Britain still hadn't abated, so I could lay outside and read Moth Smoke by Mohsin Hamed. I was slightly apprehensive as I began reading this as I had adored The Reluctant Fundamentalist so much, but Moth Smoke did not disappoint. There were a few dodgy patches in the second person address that weren't present in The Relucantant Fundamentalist,  but I guess that is to be expected as Hamed hones his skills. The story was fast paced and claustrophobic, just perfect, and I gave it 5/5.

I'm really pleased with the amount I read this month (1738 pages!) - I think I've probably got the gorgeous weather to thank - and I'm going to try to keep it up next month. I've got loads of books out of the library, so I really need to start getting through them. With no further ado, here's my

August TBR

I have literally piled all my books up in size order (ie, how tall the book is rather than how long it is), so I'm just going to go through them one at a time.

Divergent by Veronica Roth - I've heard loads of good things about this book, and I know there's a film coming out, so I really want to read it.

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell - I really wanted to read Eleanor and Park by the same author, but the library didn't have it, so I've picked this one up instead. I think its a pretty light, romantic read, so it might be a nice breather from some of the heavier things I've picked up.

The Autograph Man  by Zadie Smith - What can I say, I've got the Zadie Smith bug! Again, this wasn't the book I really wanted (I wanted On Beauty or White Teeth) but beggars can't be choosers, so I'll see how this one goes.

Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn - I first heard about this book when we studied OULIPO in CWS and the concept of it intrigued me: a world in which the letters of the alphabet were slowly disappearing until only l, m, n, o and p were left. I'm really looking forward to this.

Vagina, a new biography by Naomi Woolf - I've been getting more and more interested into the concept of female sexuality and how its treated in relation to male sexuality etc recently, so when I saw this sitting on the library shelf I had to pick it up (much to the embarrassment of my sister). Again, I'm really intrigued about this and cannot wait to read it.

I think that's all for this month. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get through, I should be picking up the keys to my house on Thursday (provided the insurance goes through ok - I perhaps shouldn't have left it so last minute) so I might be a bit busy moving in etc to do read through all this stuff. Fingers crossed though!

Best Wishes,

xx

Body Image

TW: Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders.

(side note, Laci Green expresses a lot of these views a lot better than I do on her YouTube channel, Sex+. A couple of really good videos can be found here and here)

'Tis the season for bikinis, and lately I've been thinking a lot about body image, societies relationship to body, and my own personal relationship to both food and my body.

Body image can mean a lot of things: the way your body looks, the way society views your body and the way your body looks to you. And although this might sound the same, these can often be vastly different. For example, a person may be 20 stone, feel beautiful and love their body. However, sadly society would perceive them as ugly and fat. Equally, a person may be 8 stone and hate their body, even though society would view them as having a perfect figure. These situations are specific to weight, but when you add proportions, age and gender into the mix, this becomes an even bigger mess of opinions and generalisations.

The way the human body is viewed has changed a lot over the course of history, particularly in regards to 'beauty' (ie, what we perceive to be the perfect body). I'm going to talk specifically about women in this post, not only because I am one so I understand society and its relationship to my body (as well as how my female friends and family feel about their body image), but also because what is considered beautiful in women is more exclusive (not only to each era but female perfect is an exclusive concept) and more widely discussed in the media (think tabloids, gossip mags and adverts etc).

So, let’s start from a sort of beginning. Being on the larger side used to be attractive and considered beautiful. If you look at any old painting of a women you'll see she is larger stomached and smaller busted than a pin up today would be. (You can see images photoshopped to more modern standards next to the originals here). There is a very simple reason for this: women who were larger were not only wealthier (they could afford fattening foods) but were also healthier (again, because they had a better, wider, fuller diet). It all came down to reproduction: you wanted the best chance that when you get a women pregnant she will give birth to a healthy child who will grow up in a well-off family.

Then something shifted in our culture. People became wealthier as a society, so they stopped looking to women whose bodies could support a family. Instead, the fashion industry became the go to for information of body type and its relationship to beauty. Since the end of the second world war, this image has fluctuated between two distinct types - the ironing board and the hourglass.

The ironing board refers to women who are tall, slim, with small chests, waists and hips, so their body essentially goes straight up and down (think Kiera Knightly).

The hourglass refers to women who are tall, slim, with larger chests and hips than waists (think Marilyn Monroe or Christina Hendricks).

You'll notice that both associate beauty with being tall and slim - this is because fashion designers produce stock sizes for their models and want to show their clothes off so they look the best. They believe their clothes look good on taller, slimmer people.

Anyway, so society fluctuated between women of these two sizes between 1920 (ish) and the late 1990s (for example, 20s flappers = ironing boards, 50s pin ups = hourglass, 80-90s androgyny = ironing boards). Now, there is a pretty decent mix of the two, often combining in a woman who had a fuller bust but a flat stomach and tiny waist (Rosie Huntington-Whitley, Jourdan Dunn or Miley Cyrus spring to mind).

So all this is going on in society, with women with these figures being placed in the spotlight, whilst women of other figures are ridiculed. This is known as fat shaming - a phrase which commonly refers to when larger women are discriminated because of their size, but I am also going to use it to describe the same effect on women who are thinner. The former type is much more common, and images of women with these figures (in particular the ironing board figure which is arguably more coveted in the fashion industry) can often end up being a trigger for mental illnesses and eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. Women are told that they need to look a certain way and can feel a lot of pressure to conform to these standards of beauty.

Needless to say, this is wrong and bad. Not only that, but these perceptions of beauty and many of the arguments that support them (specifically health arguments) are often false. The most important thing is that you love your body, no matter what shape or size. For the UK the average dress size is 14-16. However, women still feel the need to conform the images shown in fashion magazines depicting 'size 0' (UK size 4) models.

The fashion industry are taking baby steps to acknowledge their role in the perception of beauty in society (there is a fabulous article by a 'plus size model' here, in which she discusses the pressures of being a model and the semantics around the term 'plus size'). But they are only baby steps.

Now, most of this post has been about beauty generally. I'm going to try and articulate something I have been coming to terms with recently: my own perception of my body image and my relationship with food.

Overall, I quiet like my body. I'm about 5ft 5" and weigh somewhere in the region of 8.5 stone. On BMI charts I sit around the 19-20 marl, which is healthy for a girl my age, height and weight. This doesn't mean I'm 100% happy with the way I look though.

I am a victim of the 'flat stomach' desire. I want a flatter stomach and I know I can get one. I feel 10 times bigger than I was last summer (despite the fact that the guy I'm seeing says I haven't changed and my mum thinks I look the same) and I know I'm a lot less healthy. I've been eating more and exercising less, it's really as simple as that.

I used to be able to brush off feelings of unhealthiness, go on health kicks and feel better about myself. But this time, I've really sunk into a rut, thinking that everybody around me is so much thinner and prettier. I shouldn't aspire to be thinner. I know I'm healthy, and I know a lot of people want my body type. I also know I'm unhappy in my skin, so I want to change that. However, this feeling of general unhealthiness as for the first time highlighted to me my own relationship with food. Which is by no means as healthy as I'd like it to be. I categorize foods into good and bad. I reward myself with food, as well as deny myself it. I count calories obsessively.

Now I know this is ridiculous. I know that if I acted on many of my food feelings I would end up becoming seriously unhealthy, and part of me worries that it's only because I've got my mum feeding me that I eat proper sized portions at all (too bigger portions in my eyes, but I eat them because she gives them to me).

This has been a huge realisation for me. I've started to do more exercise and eat more regularly (ie, cutting out snacks and eating larger meals). So that feels better. I've also started to go for walks more regularly, to get myself up out of my computer seat and into the fresh air, which always makes me feel healthier anyway. I'm going to try not to worry about my tummy in my bikini on holiday, and sort out any issues I have afterwards.

So, mostly I'm feeling good. However, society and its relationship to the female body is still hugely flawed. I might do another post this week on ownership of the female body, because as I've said it's something I've been thinking a lot about recently.

Best Wishes, 

xx

If you suffer from any of the issues mentioned, and would like to talk about it, you can visit your local doctor, visit http://www.youth2youth.org.uk/common-problems/self-image/ or http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anorexia-nervosa/Pages/Getting-help.aspx

On Opinions (the good, the bad and the ugly)

Opinions. Everybody's got 'em. And, in this internet age it's easier than ever to express them (anonymously or otherwise) without 'suffering the consequences'. However, whilst this can be a really good thing, it is also dangerous and damaging. I don't have a particularly strong internet presence, but I'm sure I'm not the only one to have noticed the 'opinion wars' that occur in the comments section of YouTube videos, on blog or Facebook posts, or on Twitter. I've got nothing against a healthy discussion, and I'm very opposed to the 'you're opinion is wrong' tactic (unless you don't think Jennifer Lawrence/Owen Farrell are attractive. In which case, your opinion IS wrong), however, there are ways of noticing when you're typing a 'bad' opinion (note, 'bad' not 'wrong').

For example:

Recently (not that recently I know, but it did cause a bit of a stir) Miley Cyrus cut her hair. DUN dun dun DUN, right? She received a lot of stick for this, however, not all the opinions were the best directed. (Before I type anymore I'm just going to clear up my opinion on this hard hitting matter: I preferred her ballerina bun style, however she's a beautiful woman and can pull anything off. I do think it'd look better in her natural colour, or dyed darker though.)

Here's an example of a 'good' opinion: I don't like Miley's new hair style. I miss her old hair :(

A 'bad' opinion: Ugh, Miley's new hair cut is so not feminine enough. Makes her look like a boy. No guy is ever going to like that.

And a 'just-plain-ugly' opinion: OMFG She looks like a slut/bitch/whore (etc. You get the point).

Whilst it's easy to distinguish the ugly opinion from the others, it's not so easy to tell the difference between the good and bad ones. This is because they are both articulately expressed opinions. However, there is a key difference between the two. The first is commenting on her hair at a purely aesthetic level: It only talks about her hair. The second, however, is making a comment on society. This in itself is not bad thing, however, this particular comment is reinforcing a patriarchal opinion on femininity and what a girl should be or should look like in order to get what every girl wants: 'a guy'. These kind of comments that put value on a women's femininity are such a bad thing for society. They make young women see themselves as 'ugly' for not conforming to a narrow minded standard. As such, this is a 'bad' opinion.

Obviously, this argument works with lots of other situations in which a particular sect of society are told they can't look like/think/do certain things. Which is just bad.

I realise this perhaps wasn't the most eloquently expressed post, but I've got about 10 minutes to go catch a bus!

Best wishes!

xx

Reasons Why I am a Massive Girl

It's strange how things happen sometimes. Little coincidences that kind of feel like more than just coincidences, even though that is all they are.

On Thursday the guy who I have this "thing" with went to Copenhagen to visit his brother who has just moved out there for the next two years. The next day I get a text from my ex, giving me his new phone number. Now that in itself isn't all that strange - the text was just a mass text, not an attempt to re-kindle lost romance.

But then today happened. I get a text from a guy who I was seeing briefly (we went on walks together, the pub occasionally and I went over to his house to watch a movie once). Now that *is* strange. We didn't end on the best of terms (he had just got out of a really big relationship when we started seeing each other so didn't really want a relationship, but all the signs he was giving indicated that he was up for one. I wasn't ready for another relationship, but he didn't really understand that. I asked him if he was messing me around and he said yes.) but because we got on well, we kinda kept in contact. By in contact I mean once or twice a month one or the other of us would text and we would make small talk about what we were up to or how we were - by no means a close friendship. For the past couple months, I've been the one getting in contact, but today he text me. For all intents and purposes out of the blue. Our last exchange of texts had essentially been me saying that we couldn't go back to how things were four months ago, as I had started this thing with my friend. So it was a bit strange that he text me. Nice, but strange.

Now, I am fully aware that this is all a massive coincidence. And yes, Freshers is soon so the chance I will meet new people (new guys?) is on the cards, and the guy with the thing is away and we aren't an actual couple, but... really?

So. Just being a massively stereotypical girly girl. Sigh.

In other news, one of my best friends left for Uni today! We had a lovely meal at The Bell and girly chats. She will be sorely missed - and if by some chance she stumbles upon this little corner of the Internet: GOOD LUCK HONEY!!

TTFN! xx

Just Finished: Flappers and Philosophers (Kindle edition) by F. Scott. Fitzgerald. Rating: ****
Currently Reading:  The Pilgrims Progress (Kindle edition) by John Bunyan.

Anna Karenina (SPOILERS) and Bitches Be Crazy

Like it says in the title: WARNING! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! Just so's y'all aware.

Remember. SPOILERS. So feel free to exercise your free will and go right ahead and not read this, ok? Good. Just double checking we are on the same page over here.

So initial thoughts: I enjoyed this film. I really did. There weren't any points when I sat there thinking about what I wanted for tea or anything like that. It was engaging and intriguing. For some reason I'm not raving about this film, and I can't quite put my finger on why. It might have something to do with the fact I didn't read the book first, and the two male leads (played by Jude Law and Aaron Taylor-Johnson) both have the same first name, or maybe because at one point the (overall excellent) cinematography made me a little dizzy. But all of those things I can completely overlook for the following reasons.

Background info/basic plot-type-thing: So, Anna Karenina (as a film) is based on the Leo Tolstoy novel of the same name and stars many fabulous actors, including Kiera Knightly (who I will be eternally infatuated with), Jude Law (ditto), Aaron Taylor-Johnson (ditto) and Matthew MacFadyen (oh come on guys he was Darcy! Obviously I am going to be madly in love with him! The 2005 adaptation of P&P is still my favourite adaptation. Think about it. Him. Kiera. Rupert Friend. Carey Mulligan. Donald Sutherland. See what I mean...).

It follows the story of Anna (Knightly)- a rich Russian woman -who is married to a much older man, Alexei Karenina (Law) - a prominent politician - with whom she has a son. Her son is the centre of her world at the beginning of the film. Her brother Oblongsky (MacFadyen) has been having an affair, so Anna goes to visit her sister-in-law (Dolly - played by the amazing actress Kelly MacDonald) to try to convince her to take him back. Whilst she is there she goes to a party with Dolly and Dolly's sister Kitty. It is at this party that we are introduced to Kitty's two suitors - Levin (a wealthy land owner) and Count Vronsky (Taylor-Johnson). Levin is madly in love with Kitty and proposes to her - she turns him down in favour of Vronsky. However, at this party Vronsky meets Anna (technically for the second time - they also met at a train station when Vronsky gave money to the family of a worker who had just been run over by the train he was fixing) and it becomes very clear that they are attracted to one-another. Kitty is distraught and Anna, feeling guilty, returns quickly home. However, Vronsky follows her and they begin a passionate affair, with Anna eventually falling pregnant. There is a very complicated situation in which Alexei refuses to divorce Anna on the grounds it will ruin her, but eventually after the birth of the child he begins the divorce procedure. Anna is rejected from society and, highly aware of the whispers that follow her, becomes increasingly jealous of the attention she perceives Vronsky giving to other women, and is convinced he is having an affair (as Dolly tells her "men never change").

Meanwhile, both Levin and Kitty are miserable, however Levin has the added concern of a very ill brother who is also revolutionary anti-capitalist. Levin finally plucks up the courage to ask Kitty to marry him again (with a little help from Oblongsky) and they appear to have a happy future together.

Anna, on the other hand becomes increasingly more manic and convinced of Vronsky's falling out of love with her, and so throws herself under a train. The film ends with Alexei sitting in a field, happily watching his son and Anna's daughter play together.

So, as you can its a pretty complicated story, even with only the bare bones. The whole film was set in a theatre, which I adored, and with many of the scene changes the camera simply followed the main character as they walked from set to set, with extras pulling in new furniture or pulling down backdrops. This was such a clever idea - and even though it made me a little dizzy at points - it added such a sense of atmosphere and also entrapment, which became vital as the film reached it's conclusion.

The acting performances were incredible. There wasn't a single character who was weak. I particularly enjoyed MacFadyen's performance as he held some light comic relief for the film without detracting for its dark plot.

The thing I most enjoyed about the film, however, was it's presentation of women in the late 19th century. Women are completely trapped within society. It is acceptable for a man (in this case Oblongsky) to have a series of affairs and still be deemed a respectable gentleman. Anna, on the other hand, is condemned by most of society for her affair  (with the exception of Dolly, Princess Betsy and Princess Myagkaya). She has no escape, except madness and, ultimately death. This is a theme that is reflected through literature over centuries, from Shakespeare to Bronte. Madness is the final escape of a women who is perceived to me damned (multiple times throughout the film Anna and Alexei refer to her damnation).

This struck a particular chord with me as the guy I went to see the film with and I had been discussing how women go "crazy" in relationships. He argued that women go more crazy than men, and recounted from his personal experiences with girls he had been in relationships with. I argued that women and men go equally crazy, just if a man goes crazy it is perceived as sweet and "oh my gosh look how in love he is with you", whereas is if a women goes crazy then she is psycho, creepy, something to be avoided. It amazed me that this was still so prevalent in society today - a society that prides itself of equal rights and anti-discrimination. The complete sexism of the perception of the emotional states of men and women. It disgusted me that we still viewed the world in this way, and also made me reflect on the different escapes women have for their emotions now as opposed to a century or so ago. Luckily we have a lot more outlets. Women are allowed to be viewed feeling and experiencing the same emotions as men - through literature and art and self-expression. And the fact we are allowed that shouldn't be undervalued. But to be honest, it shouldn't have been something we were "allowed" by men. It should have been accepted as norm a long, long time ago. That is what is so hideous about society. It still holds patriarchal values. Films like this highlight how recently these values were held so much stronger than they are today, as well as the fragility with which they are held.

Recommended reading: www.justmargaret.tumblr.com she posts some excellent things on feminism and you should probably check her out.

Anyway, I am told that the book was better than the film, so I'll be reading that as soon as I can.
Rating: 4 stars

TTFN!! xx

Currently Reading: Flappers and Philosophers (Kindle edition) by F. Scott. Fitzgerald.

Decadence, Debauchery and Hedonism

Yesterday, whilst watching The One Show (because it's cool to be a middle-aged woman, ok?), I caught a brief article on Freshers Week, and as a upcoming Fresher (T-minus 5 days and counting) I found what they said rather interesting.

Youth in the British media are routinely portrayed in a highly negative light. We are uncouth hoodie-wearers who hang around on street corners drinking and swearing, our singular goal in life to disrupt the lives of those adults around us, and corrupt the minds of the innocent. Girls tend to get it even worse. Boys are expected to be a little bit mischievous, girls have to be the symbol of maturity. However, we are slutty, have no respect for our bodies, provocative - both in dress and manner. We lack the grace and elegance of the elder generations, who would never have, not in a million years, drunk as much as we do or gone out as much or kissed as many boys (or, heaven forbid girls) as we do.

(And don't even get me started on how every year, when we perform better in exams than the previous year, we aren't congratulated, our success (and the success of our teachers) isn't celebrated. Oh no! The exams must be getting easier, the markers must be getting lighter. We, the decadent youth, cannot be more intelligent than the elder generation, with their endless wisdom.)

However, this One Show news clip was comparing how we might find our Freshers week as opposed to how our parents experienced them. I am the first person in my family to have gone to university, although Dad does have a degree he studied from home when I was a baby, so nobody has ever spoken to me about their Freshers experience. The parents in the clip were saying how they thought that in their time at uni (in the mid 70's) they would have been much more hedonistic than we are. Pints were a mere 13pence rather than the £2.50 they are today, for example, so they argued they would have been getting much more drunk much more regularly than university students of this generation. Equally, university was free. They weren't going to leave with goodness only knows how many tens of thousands of pounds worth of debts, so if they didn't quite achieve the grade they wanted they didn't mind as much, so they wouldn't take studying as seriously as we would. Therefore they would go out more, party harder, not give a damn about missing the odd lecture due to a hangover.

It is very rare that I get to hear an intelligent article about how the youth of today, my much besmirched generation, aren't that much different from the previous ones, who were just as pleasure seeking, just as uncouth and corrupting as we are. I was a really nice change.

Speaking of youthful excursions, last weekend was one hell of a weekend. It started on Wednesday night, when I hosted a "Come Dine With Me" style party. Which, in itself, doesn't sound too cr-azy. However, the quantity of alcohol consumed was slightly alarming. 6 people came to the party. Three of whom drank wine. We got through 3 bottles. One of whom drank cider. Again 3 bottles. Two of whom drank beer (4 bottles) and gin. Woke up the next morning with a bit of a fuzzy head to say the least.

Thursday was my besties birthday - 19! Crazy! - so we went on a pub crawl around our local villages. We started off at 1 in the afternoon and I left at 9pm, we the rest of them carrying on till 12am. I feel sorry for my liver just remembering it!

Friday I had to work at 7am till 1pm (and didn't even get my break!) and then I was off into Norwich to buy a birthday present for another bestie, pick up some mates and take them to his for the weekend. Friday night was so much fun! We stayed up till 4am drinking and dancing and playfighting and having deep conversations with new-found-friends about physics vs English and rape and pants and stuff.

Saturday, once we had sobered up, we went for a swim in the river, the boys in their trunks, us girls in our bras and panties. Diving in was exhilarating, and the amount of times one of my friend got pushed in was hilarious - he soon learnt to stand away from the endge. The highlight was probably one of my new-found-friends finding a frog in his pocket, which another on of my friends then put in his mouth before letting it hop out safely with the words "I thought it was a prince" or maybe me getting slung over one of my mates shoulders and him jumping in or maybe even new-found-friend diving in to save a conker dropped by a small childin a passing canoe.We bought some nice food and cooked ourselves a delicious pasta dish, before settling down to watch Doctor Who (which I may have napped through a little and will probably write a review of becasue I don't think it was as awful as everyone else thinks it was) and some basket-ball film starting Will Ferrel (which I also napped though) and wait for midnight (and my mates birthday) to roll around. We then had mightnight Martinis and played the worst game of Top Trumps ever, before calling it a night.

Possibly one of the best weekends ever, well until I had to go to work Sunday morning!

TTFN! xx

Currently Reading: Flappers and Phillosphers (Kindle Edition) by F. Scott. Fitzgerald

Why, hello there stranger!

Lord only knows how you got here, but somehow you've managed to stumble upon my little bloggy-thingy-ma-bob. You poor poor soul.

I guess this should really be some kind of introduction - although the "About me" section thing kinda sums it up - but just in case you didn't read it (or want more detail): Hi :) I'm a University student studying English Lit with Creative Writing, and I suspect it'll become pretty apparent that I love reading and writing (so don't expect many short posts). I've always wanted to be an author since I was a but a babe (Although, matter of fact, that's a little bit untrue. I found an old school worksheet that listed my dream jobs as either a) a singer in a band, b) a pop star (I differentiated between the two, apparently) or c) an owner of a shop. I had high hopes for my life.). I applied for accommodation at my university of choice, but because I supposedly live too near to my uni I was declined, despite the fact I live outside the 12mile unguaranteed radius, and will now have to take a train and a bus to get to uni everyday. As you can tell, I'm not bitter about this. Not bitter AT ALL. NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. NOPE. VERY UNBITTER, UNRESTENTFUL PERSON SITTING OVER HERE. So it looks liked I'm going to be living at home for the time being, which sucks.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family. I get on great with my parents, most of the time, and my little sister ain't so little anymore (she's just started college - ahh scary) so it's not like she's a nuisance or anything. But having accommodation is part of the whole university experience, and experience I'm paying £9,000 a year for thank you very much, and it's not like I'm a kid anymore. Hell, I NEED some independence. So quite a few of these blog posts will be documenting the ups and downs of living at home whilst studying - they'll be labelled as "Sorry, No Vacancies" or SNV.

I also work a little part time job (although the amount of times they've called me in over the summer to do extra hours it's pretty much been a full time job) at a local supermarket-but-not-really-because-it's-not-that-big-but-is-still-a-chain-store-type-thing. It's not a bad little job, I get on great with people there and its easy enough work, but man has it made me determined to do well at uni! I CANNOT be doing that for the rest of my life, I think my brain would decompose.

I love music, fashion, going for long walks... blah blah blah, insert generic girly stuff in here that is true but also kinda dull just to list. I also took Politics at A level and had two of the best teachers in the world which made me totally fall in love with it. There appears to be a growing feminist movement among young women of my age (or there abouts), particularly in America with the presidential campaigns and the huge controversy surrounding Mitt Romney and other Republicans beliefs in reference to women's rights, rape and abortion - which I find completely fascinating. (So expect posts/rants about that).

I think that's about it for now... guess we'll just see how it goes...

Byeeee xx