Life Update c.July 2013

'I've got lots of post idea's' she said... It's true though! I've just, y'know, been too lazy to actually do any of them... Sorry!

Right, so, life update:

1) Health. After my holiday I felt so big. Every meal I ate whilst I was away was bigger than the equivalent meal I'd eat when I was at home, and I ate more fatty products (LOTS OF CHEESE AND BREAD) than I would normally, so whilst I left feeling ok, I came home visibly bigger. This is despite going for long walks most days (It was an hour round trip to the shop and back). So, to try to rectify both my physical feelings of unhealthy-ness and my actual unhealthy-ness, I've started running. I used to do a lot of running (I was on my junior school's cross country team) and since I've stopped going to my weekly dance classes I've been craving a bit of physical exercise. My stamina is ridiculously bad, so anything to help build that up (so I could run for a bus/ train without feeling out of puff) was always going to be great for me. I'm using the NHS 'Couch to 5K' podcasts to help me out. They're free and as their NHS created they're a safe, healthy way to build up exercise. I'm only just on the second week of podcasts (there are 9 weeks in total) but already I'm feeling better about myself, which is the most important thing. I've also been upping my fruit and veg intake, as well as drinking more water and green tea (with honey - the best drink ever as far as I'm concerned) and I've mostly cut out alcohol (we went overboard with cheap French wine, so I needed a liver break! I was meant to avoid it for 2 weeks, but the weathers been so beautiful that I couldn't resist the odd Pimms and half a lager-shandy in the sunshine). So, yay! Feeling good!

2) Clothes. I have been seriously suffering from post-holiday-poverty, but I've told myself I'm allowed to spend the money I have in my bank account pre-holiday, provided I don't spend any of the money I earn post-holiday. Aaaand both Urban Outfitters and Miss Selfridge had sales on. I couldn't resist. I got a huge oversized bright yellow jumper and an oversized black denim jacket from UO (both half price or less) and I got super bargains at Miss Selfridge - a dress reduced from £50 to £7 and a skirt from £40 to £12! Plus student discount! Love it! Now, no more clothes!

3) FLY. My university is hosting a Festival of Literature for Young people this year, and I got to be part of it! I performed two poems alongside some of my classmates and some international students on a summer school course. It always amazes me how talented the people I know are! Afterwards we sat on the steps and had a drink with the international students - it was great to chat to them, to hear their experiences of the university, to share some of my own and to big up the creative writing courses we offer. All in all, it was a lovely day.

That's about it for now, today I'm going to see The Bling Ring - super excited. Might try to take notes, not sure how it'll go, but either way I'll post a review up here soon (ish, you know how this thing works!)

Best Wishes!

xx

Currently Reading: The Red House by Mark Haddon
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Body Image

TW: Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders.

(side note, Laci Green expresses a lot of these views a lot better than I do on her YouTube channel, Sex+. A couple of really good videos can be found here and here)

'Tis the season for bikinis, and lately I've been thinking a lot about body image, societies relationship to body, and my own personal relationship to both food and my body.

Body image can mean a lot of things: the way your body looks, the way society views your body and the way your body looks to you. And although this might sound the same, these can often be vastly different. For example, a person may be 20 stone, feel beautiful and love their body. However, sadly society would perceive them as ugly and fat. Equally, a person may be 8 stone and hate their body, even though society would view them as having a perfect figure. These situations are specific to weight, but when you add proportions, age and gender into the mix, this becomes an even bigger mess of opinions and generalisations.

The way the human body is viewed has changed a lot over the course of history, particularly in regards to 'beauty' (ie, what we perceive to be the perfect body). I'm going to talk specifically about women in this post, not only because I am one so I understand society and its relationship to my body (as well as how my female friends and family feel about their body image), but also because what is considered beautiful in women is more exclusive (not only to each era but female perfect is an exclusive concept) and more widely discussed in the media (think tabloids, gossip mags and adverts etc).

So, let’s start from a sort of beginning. Being on the larger side used to be attractive and considered beautiful. If you look at any old painting of a women you'll see she is larger stomached and smaller busted than a pin up today would be. (You can see images photoshopped to more modern standards next to the originals here). There is a very simple reason for this: women who were larger were not only wealthier (they could afford fattening foods) but were also healthier (again, because they had a better, wider, fuller diet). It all came down to reproduction: you wanted the best chance that when you get a women pregnant she will give birth to a healthy child who will grow up in a well-off family.

Then something shifted in our culture. People became wealthier as a society, so they stopped looking to women whose bodies could support a family. Instead, the fashion industry became the go to for information of body type and its relationship to beauty. Since the end of the second world war, this image has fluctuated between two distinct types - the ironing board and the hourglass.

The ironing board refers to women who are tall, slim, with small chests, waists and hips, so their body essentially goes straight up and down (think Kiera Knightly).

The hourglass refers to women who are tall, slim, with larger chests and hips than waists (think Marilyn Monroe or Christina Hendricks).

You'll notice that both associate beauty with being tall and slim - this is because fashion designers produce stock sizes for their models and want to show their clothes off so they look the best. They believe their clothes look good on taller, slimmer people.

Anyway, so society fluctuated between women of these two sizes between 1920 (ish) and the late 1990s (for example, 20s flappers = ironing boards, 50s pin ups = hourglass, 80-90s androgyny = ironing boards). Now, there is a pretty decent mix of the two, often combining in a woman who had a fuller bust but a flat stomach and tiny waist (Rosie Huntington-Whitley, Jourdan Dunn or Miley Cyrus spring to mind).

So all this is going on in society, with women with these figures being placed in the spotlight, whilst women of other figures are ridiculed. This is known as fat shaming - a phrase which commonly refers to when larger women are discriminated because of their size, but I am also going to use it to describe the same effect on women who are thinner. The former type is much more common, and images of women with these figures (in particular the ironing board figure which is arguably more coveted in the fashion industry) can often end up being a trigger for mental illnesses and eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. Women are told that they need to look a certain way and can feel a lot of pressure to conform to these standards of beauty.

Needless to say, this is wrong and bad. Not only that, but these perceptions of beauty and many of the arguments that support them (specifically health arguments) are often false. The most important thing is that you love your body, no matter what shape or size. For the UK the average dress size is 14-16. However, women still feel the need to conform the images shown in fashion magazines depicting 'size 0' (UK size 4) models.

The fashion industry are taking baby steps to acknowledge their role in the perception of beauty in society (there is a fabulous article by a 'plus size model' here, in which she discusses the pressures of being a model and the semantics around the term 'plus size'). But they are only baby steps.

Now, most of this post has been about beauty generally. I'm going to try and articulate something I have been coming to terms with recently: my own perception of my body image and my relationship with food.

Overall, I quiet like my body. I'm about 5ft 5" and weigh somewhere in the region of 8.5 stone. On BMI charts I sit around the 19-20 marl, which is healthy for a girl my age, height and weight. This doesn't mean I'm 100% happy with the way I look though.

I am a victim of the 'flat stomach' desire. I want a flatter stomach and I know I can get one. I feel 10 times bigger than I was last summer (despite the fact that the guy I'm seeing says I haven't changed and my mum thinks I look the same) and I know I'm a lot less healthy. I've been eating more and exercising less, it's really as simple as that.

I used to be able to brush off feelings of unhealthiness, go on health kicks and feel better about myself. But this time, I've really sunk into a rut, thinking that everybody around me is so much thinner and prettier. I shouldn't aspire to be thinner. I know I'm healthy, and I know a lot of people want my body type. I also know I'm unhappy in my skin, so I want to change that. However, this feeling of general unhealthiness as for the first time highlighted to me my own relationship with food. Which is by no means as healthy as I'd like it to be. I categorize foods into good and bad. I reward myself with food, as well as deny myself it. I count calories obsessively.

Now I know this is ridiculous. I know that if I acted on many of my food feelings I would end up becoming seriously unhealthy, and part of me worries that it's only because I've got my mum feeding me that I eat proper sized portions at all (too bigger portions in my eyes, but I eat them because she gives them to me).

This has been a huge realisation for me. I've started to do more exercise and eat more regularly (ie, cutting out snacks and eating larger meals). So that feels better. I've also started to go for walks more regularly, to get myself up out of my computer seat and into the fresh air, which always makes me feel healthier anyway. I'm going to try not to worry about my tummy in my bikini on holiday, and sort out any issues I have afterwards.

So, mostly I'm feeling good. However, society and its relationship to the female body is still hugely flawed. I might do another post this week on ownership of the female body, because as I've said it's something I've been thinking a lot about recently.

Best Wishes, 

xx

If you suffer from any of the issues mentioned, and would like to talk about it, you can visit your local doctor, visit http://www.youth2youth.org.uk/common-problems/self-image/ or http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anorexia-nervosa/Pages/Getting-help.aspx

Reading Slump and Holiday TBR

Don't get me wrong. I adore books. If there was a job which only required me to read books that would be the job for me. I watch book-tubers, I read book blogs, and quite a large portion of my output on this blog has probably been book reviews. But every once in a while, I hit a reading slump. And it is the worst.

I have barely read at all since the read-a-thon in the middle of last month. I didn't even finish the book I was reading during the read-a-thon, despite the fact I'm only 20 pages from the end. I don't know why, I just haven't picked up a book.

Hopefully, however, this will all change sooner rather than later! I'm going to finish that book if not tonight then definitely tomorrow. Plus I bought myself a couple of books when I popped into Waterstones the other day, and have been staring at the covers ever since in the hope it will re-inspire me to read again.

As I said yesterday, I'm going on holiday for a fortnight at the end of the week, and whilst I won't be taking any physical books with me (too big and too heavy), I will be taking my lovely Kindle. Last holiday i took my Kindle on I was so paranoid about the sand that I barely read on the holiday (I read Alice in Wonderland on the plane), but this year we're in-land, so fingers crossed I can get some books tackled!

All this being said, here's a short holiday TBR:

The Hundred Year Old Man who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson
On The Road by Jack Kerouac
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

The first two on this list are the ones I'd really like to have a go at, but if I do finish them, then I'll move on to Treasure Island. I'm really not fussed if I don't get round to finishing or even starting all or any of these books, but I like to have something set out in my mind to read. I might also have a look at an Austen (either P&P because I can always re-read that, or one of the ones I haven't read yet (Emma, Mansfield Park or Northanger Abbey) just because she is such a nice little read). But I'll not get my hopes up just yet...

I'll let you know how I get on once I'm home!

Happy Reading,

xx

Tips and Tricks for Surviving 1st Year at Uni

So, you've just sat you're A2 exams, you're anxiously waiting for your marks to come back, and the whole summer is stretched out before you... University feel a long  way off, something to look forward to (hopefully), something to be afraid of (maybe), something to prepare for (definitely). But how can you prepare? Here's my little guide to get ready for University living! (Bare in mind, this will be tailored to arts/literature courses, but there's a lot of stuff which is general good practice)

a) Money, money, money 

1. Check out how much money you're going to be getting from student finance, then check out the cost of your accommodation. Sometimes, the amount of money you'll be getting in won't quite cover the cost of the rent. 
2. Equally, check when you have to pay rent, and the date your student finance gets into your account.  Don't get caught out by not having the money in your bank account on the day the rent needs paying! Most uni's will have the option of either paying monthly rent, or termly. With the monthly rent, you'll have more money in your bank account for more of the term. However, some monthly rents will start before you get student finance in. If you pick termly, you're bank account is going to get hit pretty hard  each time the money goes in. However, you'll have a better idea about how much money you realistically have to spend (or save) over the course of the term.
3. Either way, it's a good idea to do a mock budget. I sat down with a calculator and worked out that if I set aside a certain amount of money for rent, food, clothes and books, I'd be left with £18 per week for other 'fun' things. Realistically this might not be exact - you might spend a lot more or less on some of the necessary things, leaving you with more or less money for extras - but it can give you a good starting point.
4. Get a job. You ARE going to need more money. I know people whose parents paid for their accommodation, but still ran into debt. Get a job over summer, earn some extra pocket money, and SAVE IT. You'll have plenty of free time to spend with people who might be going away, you can spare the odd evening to earn more cash. You won't regret it.
5. Put as much money as you can in a savings account - but make sure its one that you can still access. Every month, I put the majority of my earnings in a savings account, leaving myself less to play with in my daily account. This means I feel poorer than I am, so save more money by spending less.

b) Do the work!

1. Preparing for seminars is really important. Remember, you're paying up to £9,000 per year, and even if the first year 'doesn't count you don't want to just throw that money away. Attend as many lectures and seminars as possible, you'll finds yourself a lot better prepared for the second year, when it really starts to matter.
2. Practise over summer. This might sound ridiculous, but if you're on a lit course, you're going to have to do a lot of reading. Reading is a skill that you can train yourself to do, so read for half an hour every day. You'll soon find yourself getting quicker and better at it. Equally, you're going to have a read more than one book at a time, so practise swapping between texts. A lot of uni's will have reading lists available, so if you know you're slow, get ahead.
3. For non-reading based courses, keep up with revision. Its amazing how much knowledge can melt away on long summers days. I'm not saying spend every second with your nose in a text book, but set aside an hour or two every week to keep your brain ticking over.

c) Remember your friends

1. Spend time with your nearest and dearest over the summer, and make the most of it.
2. Set up Skype or another messaging service of your choice, and start chatting to each other in a routine. Or, if you're staying close to home for uni, arrange a day a week when all your friends are likely to be free. The biggest mistake I made was loosing contact with some of my closest friends in the first term of Uni. Keeping in touch is so important, especially if they are stuck in a boring gap year job whilst you're off having fun with bright and shiny new friends.

d) Have fun!

1. You're paying for the experience of Uni just as much as your paying for the education. When you get there make the most of what they have to offer - go to plays, poetry nights, gigs, the gym, the library. A lot of things with be cut price for students - I went to a play for £6 and poetry nights for £3, and the gym/pool is only £1.60 a go. My biggest regret if not using these facilities to their full extent.
2. Don't spend all your money on booze. You want to remember your year. A couple of mates of mine went a little freedom crazy, and now they're seriously paying for it (both in the liver, the mind and the wallet).
3. You'll have a lot of free time at Uni, and no one will tell you what to do with it. Use it.
4. Join at least one society. I have made all my closest friends through society, and I'm living with people in my society. Some of the best hours of uni have been spent in society. Most are cheap to join if not free (mine was £3) and they are so worth your money.

e) Ask

1. The biggest skill Uni teaches is to ask questions. Whether this is in a seminar, for an essay, or for help (scholarly or emotionally), the University is there for you. You are paying for a service, and that service includes the lecturers or the finance officers or the dean of students giving you a hand. They will appreciate being asked, rather than you struggling through and not doing the best you can.

I know some of this is perhaps more dedicated to what to do when you get to uni, rather than what to do before Uni, but its all stuff to think about. Oh, and if you've got a shared kitchen there's no need to bring toasters, microwaves, kettles etc. Most Uni's will provide the basics, and if not, you can work it out between your flatmates what to buy. You don't want to end up with 12 toasters but no kettles!

Best Wishes!

xx

Oh Captain My Captian!

So, I just finished watching The Dead Poets Society and it's one of those films that you just want to watch again and again and it just makes you want to live your life and stand up for what you believe in and don't let anyone get you down ever again. And it also makes you want to tell everyone to go and watch it, even if they've seen it before to watch it again.

Ahhhh it's so good!

Seize the day!

xx

ps. I also have a tumblr now. You can follow me on akintoarayofsunshine.tumblr.com

Excuses for the Haitus

Ok, so my life has legitimately been a crazy blur of photoshoots, saying goodbye to my friends who are leaving for uni, extra shifts at work, going to the theatre and spending time with the people I love. And I know it's almost been a week since I last posted. But I need this break at the moment, because I'm doing things I don't want to miss out on. So, sorry for not keeping up this BEDA lark, but things got crazy hectic (as in I'd leave my house at 11 am and not get home till 11 pm - bearing in mind I've been ill, and don't normally sleep in but I've been catching up on snoozes and what not).

So, I'll write properly soon, pinky promise!

Best Wishes,

xx

Long Live The King!

For my Birthday this year, the fella got me tickets to see one of my favourite artists of all time: King Charles. If you don't know who he is or if you haven't heard any of his music, I urge you to Google him or YouTube him because he just produces the most brilliant, upbeat, love songs ever! He was my soundtrack last summer when me and my friends went on holiday to France, and I'm sure it'll be much the same this year. If you're wondering which song to start with, I highly recommend Lady Percy, although they're all damn good. He's basically a more upbeat Mumford and Sons (and indeed he duets with them on one of his songs, 'Brightest Lights').

So, a couple of days ago we went to the gig and WOW. The first support act (as with many first support acts) wasn't really that great, so I won't go into that, but from the second act onwards I literally didn't stop dancing! 

We Were Evergreen are possibly the cutest band in the world. They play adorable French pop music (they sing in English) and they are just amazing. I saw them live once before when they supported Charlie Simpson on his tour, and they blew me that time, as well as this. My favourite song of there is Vintage Car, and I'm just waiting for them to release a full album so I can buy it and support their music! They got dancing around and made everyone very happy.

Then the King came on. With his huge hair and swagger he was just INCREDIBLE. As I said I didn't stop dancing, and I wore my already knackered throat out singing along to every song I knew. His new material was also pretty good and very catchy (I usually am not too fond of artists playing new music at gigs because you don't get the same atmosphere - which at the end of the day is what I go to a gig for. You can always stick the album on or even head to YouTube if you're desperate to hear a 'raw' performance, but you don't get the buzz of the unity of people loving a song that you do at a gig).

At the end of the gig, I went to buy a sweet poster, and when I tried to leave the door was blocked with a mob of people as King Charles had just wandered over to say hi! Not many artists will do that, even at the smaller gig venue that I was at. I was very impressed.

Not only this, but he played a 15 minute long encore, including his version of Billy Joel's 'We Didn't Start The Fire'' which he has updated for 2012/13. It's amazing, and I highly recommend it!

I had a great night, an amazing Birthday present!

Have you seen any gigs recently? Let me know the best gig you've been at!

Best Wishes!

xx

Juggling

Hey gang! (I've been doing the 8 minute abs training thing... it's impossible to start any conversation with words other than 'hey gang' now).

So, I'm sure I've spoken about this before, but it is something that dominates in my life - and that is the art of juggling.

Now, I'm not saying that I am secretly ace at throwing multiple objects into the air and catching them again. Although I wish I was. What I mean is the art of juggling various aspects of my life - something that is slowly getting easier but I don't think will ever go away. Living at home has proven a lot harder in the juggling aspect than I ever thought it would. I assumed it would be easy to mix uni work with uni fun with uni friends with home friends and home fun and home life and work work. Man did I have it wrong! Over most of the last two terms, all I've really wanted to do is get the most out of uni, even if that means missing out on some of my homey things. I've wanted to experience things and really connect with the people who I'm going to be spending a majority of my time with over the next two years. And if i was living away from home, that really wouldn't have been an issue. However, because I was embroiled in this daily commute, it's meant that I haven't been able to meet up for spontaneous things, or just go out in the evenings when other people go out. It's also meant that my friends at home have been a lot more demanding of me than they would have been had I moved out. They expect me to have the same amount of time for me as I used to - which i just don't. I would never have expected them to come and visit me at uni had I moved there, but because I live at home they expect me to be able to go to them and for them to come to me and for me to meet up places when I already spend so much of my times on buses or trains or driving. And I hate that (not seeing them, the amount of time I spend on the road). Thankfully, we're starting to work things out now - we've arranged one day every week when we will meet up. However, even this leaves me with the short straw. One of my friends wants us to meet up in her lunch break, which I get, but it means I loose an hour out of my day just travelling to and from the meet up place. She sees it that as we only get to spend an hour of her time with her we should sacrifice that too. But she doesn't realise how busy my days can be - even the days when i only have a couple of hours of scheduled lecture or seminar time.

It's the same with my uni friends. Although they are usually more understanding about those sorts of things, when they want to go out for a night out, they don't get that I can't always come. They don't understand how expensive it is for me to get a taxi home, because they don't really understand how far away I live. Which isn't their fault, I know, but still. It just makes things complicated.

I love all my friends to bits, and I'm so willing to make time for them - I just wish they would understand that sometimes I have to be selfish because I'm paying nine grand a year for this experience.

Maintaining friendships is hard at uni. You'll see that sometimes things fall by the wayside. But if you love each other, they'll pick up. And when we do meet up, things slot back into place, its as if we still see each other everyday at high school or college.

I hope you're all well, and let me know in the comments if you've had similar experiences at uni, or if you're worried about these sorts of things.

Best Wishes!

xx

On Opinions (the good, the bad and the ugly)

Opinions. Everybody's got 'em. And, in this internet age it's easier than ever to express them (anonymously or otherwise) without 'suffering the consequences'. However, whilst this can be a really good thing, it is also dangerous and damaging. I don't have a particularly strong internet presence, but I'm sure I'm not the only one to have noticed the 'opinion wars' that occur in the comments section of YouTube videos, on blog or Facebook posts, or on Twitter. I've got nothing against a healthy discussion, and I'm very opposed to the 'you're opinion is wrong' tactic (unless you don't think Jennifer Lawrence/Owen Farrell are attractive. In which case, your opinion IS wrong), however, there are ways of noticing when you're typing a 'bad' opinion (note, 'bad' not 'wrong').

For example:

Recently (not that recently I know, but it did cause a bit of a stir) Miley Cyrus cut her hair. DUN dun dun DUN, right? She received a lot of stick for this, however, not all the opinions were the best directed. (Before I type anymore I'm just going to clear up my opinion on this hard hitting matter: I preferred her ballerina bun style, however she's a beautiful woman and can pull anything off. I do think it'd look better in her natural colour, or dyed darker though.)

Here's an example of a 'good' opinion: I don't like Miley's new hair style. I miss her old hair :(

A 'bad' opinion: Ugh, Miley's new hair cut is so not feminine enough. Makes her look like a boy. No guy is ever going to like that.

And a 'just-plain-ugly' opinion: OMFG She looks like a slut/bitch/whore (etc. You get the point).

Whilst it's easy to distinguish the ugly opinion from the others, it's not so easy to tell the difference between the good and bad ones. This is because they are both articulately expressed opinions. However, there is a key difference between the two. The first is commenting on her hair at a purely aesthetic level: It only talks about her hair. The second, however, is making a comment on society. This in itself is not bad thing, however, this particular comment is reinforcing a patriarchal opinion on femininity and what a girl should be or should look like in order to get what every girl wants: 'a guy'. These kind of comments that put value on a women's femininity are such a bad thing for society. They make young women see themselves as 'ugly' for not conforming to a narrow minded standard. As such, this is a 'bad' opinion.

Obviously, this argument works with lots of other situations in which a particular sect of society are told they can't look like/think/do certain things. Which is just bad.

I realise this perhaps wasn't the most eloquently expressed post, but I've got about 10 minutes to go catch a bus!

Best wishes!

xx

On Meeting Idols (OMGJohnGreenAHHH)

Hullo all,

Sorry I've been a bit rubbish about posting (I would say 'recently' but consider I started this in September (I think?) it technically still is a 'recent' thing so I'm basically saying 'sorry for being rubbish about posting'. So, sorry.) Turns out that this university lark is a lot more work than they say it is... so much for going out and getting trashed/wasted every night!

I have so much to catch you up on, stuff that is actually quite important considering I started this blog to map how I cope being a fresher whilst still living at home (the main thing being I actually have a house for next year now!), but today is not the day when you get to learn about that. Sorry.

Today is the day, however, that I get to eeep and squeal and bounce up and down clapping my hands about the fact that yesterday I met my idol.

We (when I put 'we' here it will mean myself, my sister and (for a majority of the time) two (or sometimes three) of her friends (an occasionally a couple of northerners)) woke up at the bright an breezy hour of 5 am in order to leave our house at 6am in order to get on a bus to London at 6.45am. So that was fun. The bus journey, as most travel experiences are at the hour of the morning, was a couple of hours of mixed excitement, exhaustion, worry and planning. I felt sorry for the other passengers on the bus, who clearly were not as stoked as us, but not sorry enough to turn down the dial on my glowing mood.

We arrived in London 25 minutes ahead of schedule, which was nice and relaxing. However, it also meant we had to spend an extra 25 minutes in the bitter London wind, which wasn't fun. I don't know if a lot of non-Londoners know this - I didn't until we went to London for Les Mis in January - but London doesn't really start until 10am on a regular day. I had assumed it would start up between 8 and 9 like all the other cities in this country, but nope. 10am. Can anybody explain why?? Anyway, so as London starts at 10am on a regular day, we didn't realise that shops wouldn't open till 12am on a Sunday... Our gig/show started at 12am. This meant that there was literally NOTHING TO DO other than wander round in the bitter weather or sit huddled in a cafe. We chose the latter. I'm ashamed to say we huddled in a chain shop rather than a nice local cafe. This was partly because the chain shop was actually open, and partly because we were in Chelsea (specifically Kensington) which is notorious for being a bit expensive (for further reference/to be blown away by appalling acting/to be dumbstruck by wealth and/or beauty/for mind numbing effects: watch Made In Chelsea). At about 11 we decided to seek out the venue, which took us all of ten minutes and if we had any doubts about whether or not it was the right place, the queue quickly settled those. We joined it, got interviewed by a guy with a camera, and entered the venue.

Cadogan Hall is beautiful. Everything looks so clean and so old and its just gorgeous. We walked in and received a signed (and Hanklerfished) copy of  John Green's The Fault In Our Stars, then queued again (because no Brit can resist a good queue) and I bought a poster. Everyone at the venue was lovely. I've never been in an environment when everyone is so excited and happy and wants to meet you and make friends. A group of girls came up to us and offered us home-made and TFioS iced buns!

Then it was time for the show. John came on and said some things about writing TFioS and about writing in general and gave advice and read a bit and was generally beautiful. Here's some of what I remember he said.

He spoke about how long it had taken him to write TFioS, and I don't just mean the many drafts that became TFioS I mean the entire writing process, from wanting to write a book that featured children who were suffering and from wanting to tell the story of them and their family. This began in 2000, when he was working as a chaplain in a children's hospice. The early drafts of TFioS featured a guy who was sort of like John, but (as he said) 'Adverb. Handsome'. Following this he said (for me) his most important piece of writing advice: none of those drafts worked because they were self indulgent. Not only was he writing about himself, but he was also writing for himself. It was only when he began to write for other people, so that other people would enjoy his work, that he became a writer. Writing doesn't work when you write for yourself, or if you write to be popular or if you write to sell. As John said, he never expected TFioS to sell - so clearly he shouldn't be trusted with things like that.

Amongst all this profundity and life advice - do things for other people not just for yourself - he also said a lot of funny things. There is a line in the first few pages of TFioS where it says that everything is a side effect of dying, including cancer. Which I know doesn't sound all that funny, but it was his defence of this line (which many people disagree with) that was funny. He said that cancer is form from the death of cells, which then have to reform, as cells that don't go through this process don't get cancer. We know this because Zombies don't get cancer. John Green, everybody.

He also spoke a lot about a certain nerdfighter called Esther Earl. You can find her in the links at the bottom of this page (you can also find where to donate to This Star Won't Go Out - the charity founded in her memory). He, through Esther, was taught that however short life is it deserves to be lived. This comes across in TFioS. It is also very poignant that the story is set from the point of view of a sick person, and about their life. All too often, stories are about helathy people. They seem to suggest that the sick person is put on the planet to help them learn something. But of course one person is not alive to help another. They are there for themselves too, and if they help you along the way then that's a bonus.

After all of this, Hank came on and played some songs, they both answered questions put to them by special guest Maureen Johnson, Hank got slapped, he played some more songs and they closed with the Proclaimers 500 miles. We waited two hours in a signing queue, got our stuff signed, had a brief chat and left, very happy people.

I'm not going to go into detail about what I said to John or what I said to Hank or what they said to me, because it wasn't that groundbreaking and it's special to me. I left them both letters, which said everything I knew I wouldn't be able to say (because of time and general flusteryness). I also left a letter for Rosianna (Halse Rojas, missxrojas on the tubes) because I knew she was going to the show later, but then I saw her down stairs, said hi and thank you a lot. We left, went to another chain shop, got food, got a bus, slept a lot, got home.

It was one of those days I won't ever forget. I met the man who inspired me to read differently, to write with purpose, to be the best person I can be. And I met his equally amazing brother. And I met the beautiful Rosianna.
I think a lot of people freak out when they meet their idols. I didn't meet my idol that day, I met a man. A brilliant man, but a man none the less. He was tired, his arm was probably about to fall off and when it was over, he had to do it all again two hours later. He wasn't this amazing being, but he was human. And that was what made the day so special. I got to meet the human who did so much for me. I got to say thank you to him. I got to give him my letter. I got to tell him,

Best Wishes
xx
Esther:
www.youtube.com/user/cookie4monster4
http://tswgo.org/esthers-story.html

John and Hank:
www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers
www.fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
www.edwardspoonhands.tumblr.com

Rosianna
www.youtube.com/missxrojas
www.hermionejg.tumblr.com

Why do we study?

As a student in her second semester of uni, I've been thinking about this quite a lot. Why am I here, what worth does this have, all that kind of stuff. The scary questions, if you will. The days when a university degree meant you'd get a well paid job are long gone. Even the days when you'd be more likely to get a job graduating with a first from a reputable uni are fading fast. So, that kind of the begs the question: in a world obsessed with the acquisition of wealth, why am I paying in excess of £9,000 for my university degree.

Maybe it's because I want to postpone reality for a little bit longer? It's easy to be a student - not in the sense that the work load is easy, by any means, but in the sense that I get given money from the government to live on. I'm not expected to pay my way just yet, or to have a full time job. I don't have to worry about money problems - or at least not to the extent that "grown-ups" (and I use the term to mean adults who are not in full-time education) do. I live a relatively comfortable life - nothing is expected of me. This is very plausible.

Maybe it's because it's what I think I'm meant to do. All my life I've been told to go to uni and get a degree. That surely must have had an effect on me! But, I don't think this is the case with me. I am the first person in my family to go to uni (well, my dad got a degree with open university, but it's not exactly the same thing). I think in my parents eyes, this means I am still a child. They went straight into the world of work - they had far more responsibility at my age than I do now. But maybe they didn't - maybe it's just a different kind of responsibility?

The most likely answer I think, is a love of learning. I really enjoyed school. I know, it's strange, but I did. And I think to succeed at uni you need to enjoy learning - even if you didn't enjoy all of school, then you need to have enjoyed whatever it is you're studying. Me? I loved literature. I love sitting down and reading and for that to be an ok, worthwhile and encouraged thing. I love that I can sit and type this, and that this can be considered helpful for my degree. I enjoy lugging books around with me, seeing their beautiful spines lined up on my bookshelf, ready to be broken.

Ultimately, there's no real answer to this question. it's probably a bit of everything. But it's interesting to think about.

Best Wishes,

xx

Reflection and Resolution

Ok, so it's the New Year. A time for reflection and a time of resolutions. So I guess this is what this post will be about.

Catch-up-time: The last time I posted I was a bit down - not just with a hideous illness that wouldn't clear itself for weeks, but also with life. I felt a bit alone and very lost. However, a couple days after that post things began to look up. Firstly, one of my uni friends suggested we live together, so it's looking like I might actually have the makings of a plan for next year. Which can only be a good thing. As much as I love my family, their constant jibes about how I'm an adult so I should be doing things more independently (every time I ask for their advice) are more than getting on my nerves. Secondly, Christmas happened. I love Christmas, the food, the company, the present giving - all of it. There is something inherently lovely about a time of year when people cuddle up by the fire and give each other things to let each other know they love them. I just like that a lot. When I was little I used to just get excited about the gifts, and whilst unwrapping a present will never lose it's tiny thrill, the act of giving the perfect gift is even better.

All of this hasn't been without it's complications. My 'home-friends' have all been missing the love a little. We didn't really meet up at all through November, which made us all feel unwanted, left out and alone, and all of us were completely oblivious to the fact each other felt like that. It's started to look up again now. I think we've began to realise that the nature of our friendship is changing - its growing into something more mature and we need to be more mature about it. It's so easy to hang out with the home crew because everything just slides back into normal. It's just nice. And I think we're appreciating the good times a bit more now.

Things are looking up now. I'm an optimistic person. That's not always a good thing - it leaves me open to disappointment and heart ache. But I always argue that if I do get hurt I'll mend easier because I look forwards, not backwards. New Years is a time for looking forwards. Here are my resolutions - or rather my goals - for the next 12 months:

1) Stop texting whilst I'm in conversation - I do it far too often and it's just rude, particularly if I'm with people who i don't get to see so often.

2) Update this blog more regularly. I have all these ideas for posts and I never get around to writing them. That needs to change. I'm not promising once or twice a week, but at least every fortnight would be good for me.

3) Compile a portfolio - all this last semester I got given a lot of starting material and was told to write this up to create a portfolio. Needless to say, I haven't done this yet. This is more of a short term goal, but I really need to achieve this.

4) Read more - not just course stuff but I need to make time for reading. If I have some down time, I need to get off the Internet or turn off the telly, put on the kettle and curl up with a book. Recently I read a book that re-kindled my love of good literature (I'll review it soon) and I just spent half of yesterday reading with the fella (I didn't have much choice - he borrowed 'Catching Fire' and powered through it. I fell asleep whilst he read till 1.20am. He took 'Mockingjay' with him.) so hopefully that'll encourage me.

5) Be proactive. I have a habit of doing the easy thing - especially when that easy thing is sit and do nothing. I need to, to borrow a phrase from Hank Green, grab life by the testicles. This is the most important of all my resolution, and it kind of encompasses them all. It's only by being proactive that I'll be able to achieve my goals. It's gone past the time in my life when I can breeze through - I need to work hard. And that's not a bad thing.

And finally, 6) Say no. Over the past term I've found myself getting more and more exhausted. that's why I was so ill - I was too tired. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind and I can feel myself slowly getting more and more shattered again. I've got to learn i can say no, and I can focus on myself for every so often.

Be strong, be true, be good and spread love.

TTFN xx

Profundity at Music Gigs

Last night I went to see the incredible Frank Turner. If you don’t know who he is, then give a couple of his songs a listen straight away! It was one of the best gigs I’ve ever been to in my life, for several reasons.

Firstly, Frank himself. All his songs are very emotive – they’re more than just wishy-washy love songs. They are intended to be heard, to be consumed and to be sung along to. They are war cries and drinking songs. A lot of his music is politically motivated (I did my A level English Language coursework on his lyrics) and that, combined with his performance creates a very strong sense of collective identity. Nearing the end of his gig (or even during the encore) Frank made a small speech on this point. I didn’t record this and I didn’t write it down, but it has stuck with me. He was thanking us for being there to support him and he made the point about how beautiful a music gig is. He basically said “You come here and you leave everything else at the door. You put aside your differences, of class, of religious beliefs, of political beliefs and you come together as a collective. As one.  As a community of people who just want to listen to some music, to dance, to clap to sing and have a fucking good time. And I thank you for that” (note: this has been paraphrased slightly but this was the gist of it). That really struck a chord with me, how a couple of thousand strangers could all come together, united by one thing. And there wasn’t any hatred that night. There wasn’t any fear. It was just about sharing a beautiful experience with friends. Music gigs really are beautiful.

Secondly, the support. The first support band were ok, as far as supports go they were even pretty good. Not sure I’d pay to see them, but I wouldn’t switch stations on the radio and I might even check them out on line (Jim Lockey and the Solemn Sun – although I didn’t remember that from the night, I just looked them up through Frank’s website). The second support act was INCREDIBLE however – although not for the reasons you might expect.

He played traditional, old American-Woody-Guthrie-style acoustic music – and anyone who’s heard Woody will know that’s not exactly pretty or dancey. What it is, though, is powerful. It’s strong and emotive and it tells a story. Tim Barry was probably one of the most sincerely humble support acts I’ve ever seen. He didn’t just say “thanks to Frank for having me” but he told us how much he admired and respected Frank, how much of an amazing performer he thought it was. He said how he was honoured to support him and was honoured to be playing for us and that we’re standing around listening to his stuff. And that in itself was deeply touching. He also said one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard at a music gig (and I wrote this down on the back of my hand when he said it):

“I’m not afraid of dying; I’m afraid of not living”

I thought that was a beautiful sentiment. It summed up perfectly the message of the tour – it was called the “Last Minutes and Lost Evenings” tour which is taken from a line of Frank’s song “I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous” which ends with:

“Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings, about fire in our belly’s and about furtive little feelings, and the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering and help us to remember that the only things that’s left to do is live. After all of the loving and the loosing, for the heroes and the pioneers’ the only thing that’s left to do is get another round in at the bar!”

And isn’t that a perfect little sentiment.

Anyway, all of that got me thinking how ridiculous it is to spend your whole life worrying. It reminded me a lot of the view that is expressed by Margo Roth Spiegelman, a character in John Green’s novel “Paper Towns”. She see’s how vapid the world is, she see’s its faults, how “life has become the future”, and how wrong that is. Now I don’t 100% agree with her view – I think you’ve got to think about the future a little bit. But I do mostly agree with Tim Barry.

It’s ok to be afraid of dying, so long as you’re not afraid of living.

TTNF xx

Links: http://frank-turner.com/  - Frank Turner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c21SfaAwBw0  - I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous

Currently Reading: The Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens

Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde

The Art Of Writing Fiction by Andrew Cowan

An Apology, A Memory and A Poem

Hey gang, it's been far too long and I have no excuses!!

Anyone who followed the link in my last post will know that I have miserably failed at NaNoWriMo this year. It's not that I didn't have enough time, or that I couldn't think about what to write (I actually had a semi decent plot arc for Toby and friends). Truth be told I was just lazy. I'd forgotten how time consuming it was to write NaNo, how mentally and emotionally draining it was, how much sacrifice had to go into it, and when it came down to it I prioritised my social life (and to a certain (more acceptable extent, Uni work) over NaNo. I don't necessarily think that's a crime, but I am somewhat disappointed that I couldn't see it through - for Toby's sake as much as my own self pride etc.

Anyway, this post wasn't going to be long or rambling, but rather a memory.

I just spent the last five or so minutes battling with a Parker Pen - trying to release it from its packaging, to be precise - and all the time I kept wondering: "Why do these pens need to be vacuum-packed in plastic! It makes this so difficult! Ow, my hand!!"

Then I remembered my childhood, when I used to receive "Barbie" dolls as presents. One of the most fun parts of receiving the Barbe doll wasn't the clothes you could dress her up in, or if you could cut her hair or whatever, but the act of opening the packaging. Barbie came in a box - almost like a shoe box. Firstly you had to remove Barbie and her background from the box. Barbie was attached to her background by wire ties, and I would laboriously unwind each tie, carefully straighting it out in order to remove it without damaging the background. Them, much like the Parker Pen, I had to  carefully remove the clothing and accessories from the vacuum-packed plastic containers. I would do this delicately, careful not to damage the precious items. I'd then lay out everything, and begin to play. Now, this might sound somewhat arduous for a 4, 5, 6, 7 year old girl, but I loved it. It just hit me, at 18, that the magic had vanished from opening a package. And that made me sad.

In other, less depressing news, I have taken to performing my poetry. I know. Considering that I only really started writing poetry in September, that's a bit of a risky move. But it seems to have gone ok so far. One of my poems (about rape) appears to go down really well when I perform it, but I think I'll post that another time, as I enjoy discussions around rape culture in our society. I say "enjoy", I really mean that I don't think it gets discussed enough - it tends to get hidden away when it should be fore fronted for all its issues.

This poem began as a song, but turned into a beat poem. It's called:

 The Girl In The Corner Looking Nervous

She’s sipping spirits from a shot glass,

Praying the scummy boys won’t touch her arse

But, with a skirt down to her knees,

She’s not showing much arse to squeeze.

And she’s only got subtle make-up on,

Wondering how you can be comfy in a lacy thong.

She hasn’t got up to dance;

She thinks you’ve got to wait to be asked.

 

The decadence of the scene perturbs her;

The hedonists and perverts

Clamour all around and make her nervous,

The boys and girls offering service.

She doesn’t like the push and shove at the bar

Would much rather be relaxing in some fancy spa.

She’s wearing perfume by Chanel

As if anyone here could tell!

 

She doesn’t approve of promiscuity,

Although that might change after a drink or three,

But she won’t cause she’s counting her units

And she doesn’t approve of the music.

She thinks all her peers are disgusting

With all their making out and thrusting,

So she just stares at the debauchery with her doe eyes

Sat alone in the corner for the whole night.

 

And her tan’s not fake it’s from St. Tropez.

And she’s knows just what they say:

“You’re far too prim to be in here love,

Why don’t you take off those white gloves?

Take some bobby pins out of your up do,

Show the other girls how you can move!

I’m not saying you’ve gotta get down and dirty,

But it’s wouldn’t hurt just to be a little flirty,

And you never know you  might quite like it

If only you had the balls to try it.”

 

Hopefully I'll start posting more frequently again!

TTFN! xx


Currently Reading: The Old Curiousity Shop by Charles Dickens
Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde
The Art of Writing Fiction by Andrew Cowan

FRESHERS! Report (with LOTS OF CAPS - apparently)

Here goes!

Day 1: Sunday night Ice-Breaker Party. Being a home-student (and with none of the other home students I know going) I turned up all on my todd. At the same time as I walked in, so did three other girls, so I started talking to them. We soon found out we were all home students - so I made my first Uni friends! Really fun night, everyone just wandering up to each other saying hi and chatting and dancing. Although, apparently, a lot of people's idea of an ice-breaker is to dance up to someone then make out with their face. Which, y'know, is fair enough I suppose. So long as both parties are willing. Didn't really appreciate the random guy who lured me in by ballerina-twirling me trying to shove his face into mine... Although the two guys me and the local ladies were dancing with didn't seem to mind it too much when two random girls started rubbing themselves up and down them. If you're imagining the Baloo back-scratching scene from the Jungle Book mid Bare Necessities, you're not too far off. If Baloo was in a skin-tight LBD that is... ANYWAY. Yes. Good night.

Day 2: Monday morning at the sprightly hour of 10:45 I have to register to confirm my attendance etc. For most students this would involved rolling out of bed at 10 maybe? Showering and getting them selves together because its early-days and everybody wants to make a good impression, then stumbling down to the Congregation Hall to register. For the home student in involves getting up at half-eight to make the half nine train, then running from train station to bus stop and a half hour bus journey. Yeah. Not as fun, right?

So I registered fine, went and picked up my campus card, then met up a boy from my college as well as a girl I used to know. We hung out in one of our Uni's cafes (known as The Hive) for a while, then went into the Fresher's Fare. It was mental. Easily one of the most crowded room I've ever been in, a mass of bodies, a collection of currents that were constantly in battle, vying for dominance, and the brave souls who jumped from stream to bustling stream. I got separated from my friends pretty early on, and trapped in the mass had to let myself be taken around the room, picking up free food, drinks and vouchers (and a shed load of pens) as I went.

By the time I escaped, had sorted out my possessions and met up with my friends, it was pretty much time for my first introductory lecture. In the lecture theatre I sat next to a boy who, as it happened is on my course. Since then, I have seen him around a lot and we always say hi and have a chat. Yay for new friends! After the lecture I met up with one of the girls I had met the night before, then headed home. No night out for me this night, which I was a little upset about at the time, but do not regret at all now.

Day 3: Tuesday was a crazy busy day for me. Loads of introductory lectures that simultaneously terrified me and excited me. I love being back in a learning environment. Had lunch then went to the SOC Mart with some girls from my course and signed up for a couple of societies (notably Creative Writing) then went back to their halls with them and hung out for the afternoon.

In the evening I met up with the girl I had met at ice-breaker and together we went to the T-Shirt party. The premise of this was you got a t-shirt and had to write various bits of information on it (your name, where you come from and what you were studying). This was, as it turns out, a great idea. It made meeting people really easy. Top night.

Day 4: By this time I felt pretty exhausted from meeting so many new people, but luckily I didn't have a busy day. The only thing I had to do was to meet with my personal adviser (who was lovely) and have a look around the Sports Mart to see if I wanted to sign up to any societies. I signed up for Yoga and Pole Dancing. Whilst looking around I met up with some girls from my course, which was nice.

In the afternoon I met up with my best friend to help him buy a bracelet for his mum's birthday and to say goodbye as he was off to uni soon. We had hot chocolate and shared a brownie. Pretty emotional.

That evening was Zane Lowe. Me and my clubbing buddy from day 1 showed up fifteen minuets late, but the place was dead. As we were sitting with our drinks a couple third years clearly on the lookout for fresh meat came up to chat. They were really nice, but so obviously flirting. Me and one of the guys exchanged numbers after he bought me a drink. Which was probably a bad move - as he then used this to blackmail me into giving him a kiss on the cheek. At the bar he kept putting his hands on my waist and playing with my hair, and when we sat down he started stroking my leg. It was only after I kept talking about the guy who I'm seeing that he finally stropped off. It was upsetting, because he was funny to talk to (he reminded me of my ex who would flirt by winding the other person up, and I knew exactly how to counter it - take them seriously).

The first half of Zane Lowe's set was dire, but the second half was sick! Most of his crowd interaction was him shouting "Put your hands up, put your fucking hands up!" but it was pretty fun. A topless guy came up to me and asked me to help him dress himself. We got chatting and he gave me his number. He was a pretty nice guy. Overall, a really fun night.

Day 5: Thank god Thursday was an easy day for me! The only thing I had on was a party 6-8 followed by a night in the city. Spent the day chilling, then dressed up and headed into the city. This was the only time time when I've a had a serious issue with buses - it was sooo late! I would have been more annoyed but my bestie-boy-type-friend called me up from Glasgow! Yay! We had a lovely chat which was lovely.

The party was fun, hang out with the girls on my course again (I should probably decide if I should use their actual names or give them nicknames or code names on here... hmmm). We got chatting to these two guys, and the group divided into two. Myself and two of the girls were chatting to a boy from Teeside, just about basic studenty stuff (eg. homesickness, missing healthy food, that kinda thing) when we overheard the conversation from the other group. They were very seriously talking about how Wuthering Heights wasn't a Gothic novel. Um? Hello! It is one of THE Gothic novels?!? (Again a time when we need an interrobang on the keyboard). Anyway. We then got chatting about more serious Englishy-stuff then moved on to the local area. One guy joked that he's only been sent here to improve the gene pool, not "because I'd got three A's at A level or anything" *guffaw guffaw* That kinda thing really winds me up. We are ALL on the SAME COURSE more or less, so we ALL got GOOD GRADES. For all he knew, we could've all got better than him. If I'd wanted to, I could have said "yeah, the reason they wanted me to stick around was because I got three A*'s and an A" but I didn't because everyone on the course deserves to be there. ARGH!

Going into town was great, plus I got to see the guy I'm seeing for the first time since Anna Karenina and since he got back from Denmark. He kept joking about how he was going to shave his head into a Scandinavian Top Knot but Oh My GOD he ACTUALLY shaved his head into a top knot. It didn't look as bad as you might think, but still. I miss his old hair (a thing I keep telling him, although I should probably stop because it's his hair, at the end of the day). His bestie, who had also been to Denmark, was there, and I swear to god he is one of the loveliest guys I have ever met. So genuinely kind. Little bit of a crush on him, truth me told. Tall, dark hair, basket ball player...

We also met up with my one of my bestest lady-flavoured-friends and a guy who she had just split up with but was trying to stay friends with... which was a little strange and TENSE to say the least. Our favourite Ninja-Russian friend also came along. I love him more and more with each meeting.

The night ended with me going back with the fella and his mate - safest taxi ride ever!

Day 6: We pick up where we left off, with me waking up in a house that wasn't mine all alone - as the fella and his mum had both gone to work. Strange. I didn't have to go into uni, but I wanted to go to the first Creative Writing Soc Meet (as well as get my bus pass and pick up my first dossier (huge and green but also kinda exciting)). The CWS workshop was amazing! I loved it! Everyone was so lovely and friendly and ahhh. They are all ME! Yay! We went down to the union bar afterwards - so nice. I got chatting to the treasurer (who was a PhD student) as well as couple of Freshers.

I didn't go out Friday night and ended up crashed out by 9pm. When the little sister came home at 11, she was stunned when she was told to be quiet so as not to wake me: "What?!? She's HOME?!?"

Day 7: Saturday night was the last official Freshers thing. I went round one of the girls I'd met at Ice Breaker and her dad gave us shots before heading out to get the bus. When we arrived there weren't many people, but then The Regurgitator from BGT came on stage to perform. It was pretty impressive: he swallowed a load of fairy liquid and cigarette smoke then blew a bubble of smoke. And he swallowed a load of gas and blew a bubble of that too, before setting it alight in his palm. Mid way through the performance, topless Zane Lowe guy came up and we started chatting. Turns out he's a super nice guy, and we chatted about football and his girlfriend and my fella and stuff. It was a really nice conversation. I had to leave shortly after as I had work the next day, but all in all, a super fun evening!

So that was pretty much the end of Freshers. Overall I had a good time, but no crazy Freshers stories really. I would have loved to have been in halls, but I managed to get on fine without it. It perhaps made me a little more sober but after the previous week I don't think that was a bad thing. I met a load of lovely people who I will hopefully be friends with. Yay!

TTFN! xx

Currently Reading: The Pilgrims Progress (Oxford World Classics Edition) by John Bunyan
                                Shades of Grey (Hodder) by Jasper Fforde

Decadence, Debauchery and Hedonism

Yesterday, whilst watching The One Show (because it's cool to be a middle-aged woman, ok?), I caught a brief article on Freshers Week, and as a upcoming Fresher (T-minus 5 days and counting) I found what they said rather interesting.

Youth in the British media are routinely portrayed in a highly negative light. We are uncouth hoodie-wearers who hang around on street corners drinking and swearing, our singular goal in life to disrupt the lives of those adults around us, and corrupt the minds of the innocent. Girls tend to get it even worse. Boys are expected to be a little bit mischievous, girls have to be the symbol of maturity. However, we are slutty, have no respect for our bodies, provocative - both in dress and manner. We lack the grace and elegance of the elder generations, who would never have, not in a million years, drunk as much as we do or gone out as much or kissed as many boys (or, heaven forbid girls) as we do.

(And don't even get me started on how every year, when we perform better in exams than the previous year, we aren't congratulated, our success (and the success of our teachers) isn't celebrated. Oh no! The exams must be getting easier, the markers must be getting lighter. We, the decadent youth, cannot be more intelligent than the elder generation, with their endless wisdom.)

However, this One Show news clip was comparing how we might find our Freshers week as opposed to how our parents experienced them. I am the first person in my family to have gone to university, although Dad does have a degree he studied from home when I was a baby, so nobody has ever spoken to me about their Freshers experience. The parents in the clip were saying how they thought that in their time at uni (in the mid 70's) they would have been much more hedonistic than we are. Pints were a mere 13pence rather than the £2.50 they are today, for example, so they argued they would have been getting much more drunk much more regularly than university students of this generation. Equally, university was free. They weren't going to leave with goodness only knows how many tens of thousands of pounds worth of debts, so if they didn't quite achieve the grade they wanted they didn't mind as much, so they wouldn't take studying as seriously as we would. Therefore they would go out more, party harder, not give a damn about missing the odd lecture due to a hangover.

It is very rare that I get to hear an intelligent article about how the youth of today, my much besmirched generation, aren't that much different from the previous ones, who were just as pleasure seeking, just as uncouth and corrupting as we are. I was a really nice change.

Speaking of youthful excursions, last weekend was one hell of a weekend. It started on Wednesday night, when I hosted a "Come Dine With Me" style party. Which, in itself, doesn't sound too cr-azy. However, the quantity of alcohol consumed was slightly alarming. 6 people came to the party. Three of whom drank wine. We got through 3 bottles. One of whom drank cider. Again 3 bottles. Two of whom drank beer (4 bottles) and gin. Woke up the next morning with a bit of a fuzzy head to say the least.

Thursday was my besties birthday - 19! Crazy! - so we went on a pub crawl around our local villages. We started off at 1 in the afternoon and I left at 9pm, we the rest of them carrying on till 12am. I feel sorry for my liver just remembering it!

Friday I had to work at 7am till 1pm (and didn't even get my break!) and then I was off into Norwich to buy a birthday present for another bestie, pick up some mates and take them to his for the weekend. Friday night was so much fun! We stayed up till 4am drinking and dancing and playfighting and having deep conversations with new-found-friends about physics vs English and rape and pants and stuff.

Saturday, once we had sobered up, we went for a swim in the river, the boys in their trunks, us girls in our bras and panties. Diving in was exhilarating, and the amount of times one of my friend got pushed in was hilarious - he soon learnt to stand away from the endge. The highlight was probably one of my new-found-friends finding a frog in his pocket, which another on of my friends then put in his mouth before letting it hop out safely with the words "I thought it was a prince" or maybe me getting slung over one of my mates shoulders and him jumping in or maybe even new-found-friend diving in to save a conker dropped by a small childin a passing canoe.We bought some nice food and cooked ourselves a delicious pasta dish, before settling down to watch Doctor Who (which I may have napped through a little and will probably write a review of becasue I don't think it was as awful as everyone else thinks it was) and some basket-ball film starting Will Ferrel (which I also napped though) and wait for midnight (and my mates birthday) to roll around. We then had mightnight Martinis and played the worst game of Top Trumps ever, before calling it a night.

Possibly one of the best weekends ever, well until I had to go to work Sunday morning!

TTFN! xx

Currently Reading: Flappers and Phillosphers (Kindle Edition) by F. Scott. Fitzgerald