Review: 'Now is Good' by Jenny Downham

I bought this book for my friend for Christmas after my mum and sister saw the film and came back waxing lyrical about how amazing it was. My friend read it and said it left her with such an awestruck feeling that I had to read it, so she lent it to me. I begun this book on the 26th of March, and I finished it by the next morning (I pretty much read it in two sittings, the first third of the book in one day, and the final two thirds the next morning), if that gives you any idea of how fantastic it was.

This book was originally titled 'Before I Die', so I think that might give you some indication into the overall feel of this novel. It is a sad book, and there is no escaping that fact. If I was to compare it to another book, I'd describe it as a darker, and perhaps more serious (certainly less funny), version of John Green's 'The Fault in our Stars'. 

The novel is from the point of view of Tessa, a 16 year old girl who is in the latter stages of terminal leukemia when she decides to compile and complete a bucket list of 10 things she wants to do before she dies. We follow her as she attempts to fulfil all the things on her list, with the help of her best friend Zoey.

At first, I really did not like any of the characters at all - expect maybe her father who appeared to be trying his hardest to make Tessa feel as happy and as comfortable as he could. However, as the novel progressed I felt a huge fondness for Tessa (I did shed a tear at the end) and even began to like her friend Zoey (whom I hated at the start). The turn around character in this book is Adam, and there is literally no point in the novel when I wasn't on his side. Like I said, all of the characters warm on you so if you do pick this up and are reading it thinking that you hate them all - do stick with it. You will be rewarded for it by the end.

The stand out aspect of this novel was the language. Nothing Tessa said appeared contrived, which is extremely difficult to do in a cancer book. the descriptive sentences were plentiful and stunning - my favourite is when Tessa is watching the sunlight hit her body, and she describes it as congealing at her feet. I think that is simply sublime use of language.

Equally, Downham's ability to drop in and out of scenes is perfect - you get just the right sense of how much time has past and the events that fill in the gaps. This is especially well done in the final couple of chapters of the novel. 

I highly recommend this book.

Hopefully I'll get round to doing a book to film review, as I really want to see the film - now more than ever.

I give 'Now is Good' 4 sunbeams (too self indulgent as a rating system?)

Best Wishes!

xx

Left Wing Comedy and the BBC

The other night I was listening to BBC Radio 4's comedy Podcast Friday Night Comedy, specifically The Now Show (because I am a middle aged man, apparently). For those of you who don't know Friday Night Comedy is a weekly podcast which alternates between series' of The Now Show (hosted primarily by Hugh Dennis and Steve Punt but frequently featuring Jon Holmes (whom I will be addressing in a moment), Mitch Benn, and a whole host of other comics),  and The News Quiz (hosted by Sandi Toksvig and frequently featuring Susan Calman, Jeremy Hardy (again, more on him later), Andy Hamiliton etc etc the list goes on). Both shows are satires of the weeks news, one in the form of a quiz, the other in a series of segments (stand up, song, sketches etc).

Last week, in Jon Holmes' section, he addressed complaint which many people have with the BBC - it is too left wing. Now, this is problematic for the BBC who are meant to be a non-biased broadcasting institution. Having an partisan take on social, political and economic news stories is very much not in their job description. However, in my opinion for the most part I believe that the BBC does this very well, and in its serious news style programmes (ie, BBC Breakfast, various news programmes, and The One Show) it walks the line between entertainment and reporting very carefully. The Friday Night Comedy shows are not serious news broadcasting shows. Their sole objective is to entertain through mockery and satire. Firstly, I think many of these complaints have arisen because there is a Conservative (right wing) political party in government at the moment, so therefore there is a lot of anti-conservative jokes appearing on these shows. However, when Labour (traditionally left wing) were in government, an equal number of anti-Labour jokes were made. Therefore, I believe it is less about the BBC's political stance, and more about the requirements needed for the show.

However, I think it goes even deeper than this. In the criticism, it was especially picked up that Jeremy Hardy is a very regularly featured comic. He is also rather left wing (as Jon Holmes put it he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve, in particular his left sleeve) and isn't afraid to voice his (very funny in my opinion) views. When I actually sat down to think about it I couldn't really think of any out and out right wing comics who I found funny. This got me asking a question: are the BBC putting on left wing comics because their perpetuating a political stance, or because they are trying to provide the best entertainment? Personally I think it's the later.

Comedy works at its best when you are mocking the system that we live in, when you are picking out something from society and saying 'look, this is wrong, it's funny, but we should also probably change it'. Right wing comics never portray that message. In right wing comedy all you tend to get is mockery of left wing 'utopian' ideas: unattainable dreams that can never be realised. What are these 'unattainable dreams'? Well, they tend to be the desire for equality in society, not only in a monetary sense between rich and poor, but also between men and women, black and white, lgbtq, the list goes on. Left wing comedy mocks the people in power, right wing comedy mocks the victim. I don't know about you, but I don't think that mocking the people who are worse off in society is a very funny thing to do.

Let me know if you know any right wing comics who don't do this, if there are even any right wing comics at all (I'm seriously struggling to think of any, other than Jeremy Clarkson). Tell me if you agree with me, or if you have the same issues in your country.

Oh, and give Friday Night Comedy a listen. It's really rather good. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/fricomedy

Best Wishes!

xx

They See Me Haulin', They Hatin'...

Why hello there!

So it was my bonny old birthday yesterday, so I thought I'd share with you what I got!

1)


 

Dictionary of Literary Terms
 and Literary Theory (Penguin, 4th ed.)
ISBN: 9780140513639
Andrew Heywood, Political Ideologies:
An Introduction (Palgrave Macmillan, 5th ed.)
ISBN:9780230367258

Both of these books look like they're going to be really useful for my course. Right from the beginning every single lecturer I've had has told me to get my hands on a good literary dictionary, so I asked for one for my birthday. For those of you who don't know what a literary dictionary is, it is basically a cross between and dictionary and a reference book, which allows it to give really in depth definitions of literary ideas (for example, the definition for novel is 40 pages long - going into its etymology and its history), so it should be very helpful for my course. I used the 4th edition of Andy Heywood's political ideologies in the second year of A level politics, and from what I can tell, the only difference between this edition and the 4th is this version has colour (well, blue rather than grey) and occasionally pictures of particularly influential people. (If you are interested in getting a copy, I recommend either the 4th or 5th edition, the 3rd doesn't have word definition boxes, which are incredibly helpful). My course has involved a lot of politics - or rather the need for a broad view of political moments in history, which this book covers within it's overview of ideology. It's very well written, clear and easy to understand.

2)

Zara Ethnic Print Shirt (Medium)

Sorry the picture is on the side, I uploaded it vertically, but it doesn't appear to have worked... Anyway, the shirt is very light weight, almost to the point of being see through. It's in a soft cotton, and has a long torso (it covers my butt). I had to get the medium because I find Zara clothing fits tight on my shoulders and the sleeves tend to be half an inch too short. Really looking forward to some warmer weather so I can frolic in it, as it would look cute tucked into jeans or loose over shorts. Bring on summer!!

3)

My friends got me this 'Cake Pop' tray and recipe book! It looks adorable and I can't wait to get baking!

4)

They also got me this tea-bag tin filled with tea! All the tea is herbal (i think) but they haven't told me what's what. It smells divine though! A gorgeous mix of ginger and peppermint and yum yum yum! It almost smells like Yogi Yogi Chai (a tea I had in a cute little tea shop called Chai Ovna in Glasgow's West End), which was the most delicious tea ever, and once I've finished working my way through these, I think I'll probably invest in some and put tat in there instead!

5)

I'm very much looking forward to wearing these banging earrings! As you can see they were from New Look. I'd write more, but I really moustache... Hahahaha... must dash, moustache, geddit?!?

6)

Love the animal prints on these hair clips! Hopefully they'll look really sweet with my Pocahontas style summer dress!

7)


Rimmel Vinyl Gloss in Crystal Clear, Avon Super Shock Mascara in Black,
 Avon  SpotLight Moitsure Shimmer Gel, Avon Nailwear Pro in  Golden Dream
 and Avon Super Shock Eyeshadow Crayon in Icicle and Surf.

Can you tell one of my mates in an Avon rep? I can never afford to buy Avon make up, so I'm super chuffed she thought to get me some! I love it! I can't wait to try out the Rimmel gloss either, I'll be so shimmery if I wear all these together! Hopefully I'll review them once I've given them all a whirl!

8)

FCUK Little Indulgent Box containing body spray, body wash,
body polish and body cream, as well as a body polisher,
 all scented with their 'signature' scent.

My Mum's best friend never forgets my birthday and always gets me lovely gifts - this year was no exception! I am super excited to try out all this stuff - especial the body polish! I'm wearing the body spray at the moment (I think I'll wear it as a perfume rather than a spray) and it smells so floral and fresh - it's lovely. Again, I'll hopefully have a review up in the near future...

9)

Last but not least, EBO! My wonderful sister got me this card game and I cannot wait to play it! The premise of the game is that you are a Time Nanny and you got and kidnap babies who turn out to be evil when they grow up (ie, Hitler), but because they're evil babies, its not quiet as simple as you might think. There's a play through on Team Hypercube's YouTube channel (www.youtube.com/teamhypercube) that should be very helpful, so I'm going to give that a watch in a bit.


That's all folks! I had a wonderful Birthday, and hope your days were just as merry and love filled as mine!

xx

The Come Back Blog... Maybe....

Hello Munchkins! Sorry I haven't been around a lot  at all recently, but I've had a crazy amount of reading, essaying, module-choosing and general life stuff going on. So this will either be a very long post filling y'all in or a very short post that says ahhh so busy!

1) Reading. I've started doing a lot more reading outside my course, which is something I've been missing over the past 6 months or so. Every single book I picked up that wasn't on my course I'd end up feeling really guilty about and never completing, and although I enjoy most of my course books you get a totally different feeling when you read a book you want to read, rather than something you have to read. This left me in a bit of a reading rut, if you will, where I wasn't really enjoying reading at all because it felt like a task. I've never felt that way about reading before, and it made me a bit worried to say the least, especially considering my choice of degree. However, when the year started I set myself a goal on goodreads.com, so I'm trying to read 40 books this year. So far I'm on 10, including books for my course and (most importantly) a couple of other books I've picked up along the way, which I will be posting a review of shortly.

2) Essays. So I've had a couple of essays in since I last wrote, and have also got a mark back for one of them. I got a First!! I'm so ridiculously happy it's a little bit unreal. The only problem now is that now I know I can do it, I'm going to get really hard on myself if I don't carry on getting firsts. Which is a bit silly, as a 2.1 in your first year is frickin' good! But yay! Party time!!

3) Module Choosing. This was STRESSFUL. The actual selecting of the modules was easy enough, but the reserve choices freaked me out a bit. I really want my first choices, so I'm a tad nervous if I don't get them. Ah well, I'm sure I can sort things out at a later date if things don't turn out how I'd like them to be...
For my first choice I've picked: 18th Century, Poetry Writing, Prose Writing, Shakespeare, Three Women Writers, and Contemporary fiction. So this should be good!!

4) General Life Stuff. So, my grandmas haven't been all that well recently, and although its probably nothing to worry about, it's been stressing my folks out a bit, which in turn stresses me out. I guess that's actually the bulk of the life stuff, but it feels like a lot more. Oh, and I'm trying to book a holiday to France and nobody is communicating with me and that's unnecessarily stressful too.
In good news, I'm the new Secretary of the Creative Writing Society! Yay! i am very honoured to have be awarded the role... despite the fact it was only me in the running!

Anyway, so, new plan. I really need to write more, and here is an outlet I really should sue more often. So, here's what I'm thinking: new post, 3 times a week. Either on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday or Monday, Wednesday, Friday - we'll see how it goes, eh? Also, posts on a variety of things. Sometimes beauty, sometimes book, sometimes general life and sometimes a piece of creative writing. Sound like a plan? Goodo. It's in writing now...

Best Wishes!

xx

Ch-ch-changes and spreading some love

So, since its Valentines, I've been thinking a lot about how much has changed in my life over the past year.

This time last year I woke up, hungover, next to a rebound guy on my best mates sofa.
This time last year I was heartbroken.
This time last year I was the most stressed I have ever been.

Suffice to say this year has been a hell of an improvement.

I woke up to my phone buzzing at the ripe hour of 7.20am (it was a text from my boss) and spent the day writing an essay. Ok, maybe not a huge improvement then. But I'm not stressed and I'm getting taken out by the fella tonight. So things are looking very much on the up.

It's hard at times like this not to reflect on the past, what the year has brought. Which is what makes it so hard if you're someone who is affected by being single on Valentines. My past V-day's ain't been that good. As I said last year I was hungover and alone, the year before that I was avoiding the guy i was with and broke up with him the next day. Before that I didn't have boyfriends. So, this is a first for me.

I just wanted to spread the love a little. Wherever you are, I hope you have a wonderful day, and whether or not you celebrate St. Valentine, I hope it's filled with love.

If you're missing out on some lovin, I recommend you watch this video, it always causes my heart to burst a little http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QVQSZA9zSk

Love You Bye

xx

On Opinions (the good, the bad and the ugly)

Opinions. Everybody's got 'em. And, in this internet age it's easier than ever to express them (anonymously or otherwise) without 'suffering the consequences'. However, whilst this can be a really good thing, it is also dangerous and damaging. I don't have a particularly strong internet presence, but I'm sure I'm not the only one to have noticed the 'opinion wars' that occur in the comments section of YouTube videos, on blog or Facebook posts, or on Twitter. I've got nothing against a healthy discussion, and I'm very opposed to the 'you're opinion is wrong' tactic (unless you don't think Jennifer Lawrence/Owen Farrell are attractive. In which case, your opinion IS wrong), however, there are ways of noticing when you're typing a 'bad' opinion (note, 'bad' not 'wrong').

For example:

Recently (not that recently I know, but it did cause a bit of a stir) Miley Cyrus cut her hair. DUN dun dun DUN, right? She received a lot of stick for this, however, not all the opinions were the best directed. (Before I type anymore I'm just going to clear up my opinion on this hard hitting matter: I preferred her ballerina bun style, however she's a beautiful woman and can pull anything off. I do think it'd look better in her natural colour, or dyed darker though.)

Here's an example of a 'good' opinion: I don't like Miley's new hair style. I miss her old hair :(

A 'bad' opinion: Ugh, Miley's new hair cut is so not feminine enough. Makes her look like a boy. No guy is ever going to like that.

And a 'just-plain-ugly' opinion: OMFG She looks like a slut/bitch/whore (etc. You get the point).

Whilst it's easy to distinguish the ugly opinion from the others, it's not so easy to tell the difference between the good and bad ones. This is because they are both articulately expressed opinions. However, there is a key difference between the two. The first is commenting on her hair at a purely aesthetic level: It only talks about her hair. The second, however, is making a comment on society. This in itself is not bad thing, however, this particular comment is reinforcing a patriarchal opinion on femininity and what a girl should be or should look like in order to get what every girl wants: 'a guy'. These kind of comments that put value on a women's femininity are such a bad thing for society. They make young women see themselves as 'ugly' for not conforming to a narrow minded standard. As such, this is a 'bad' opinion.

Obviously, this argument works with lots of other situations in which a particular sect of society are told they can't look like/think/do certain things. Which is just bad.

I realise this perhaps wasn't the most eloquently expressed post, but I've got about 10 minutes to go catch a bus!

Best wishes!

xx

Bet Down, Shine Bright

Yesterday at CWS we studied OULIPO poetry (a French movement in which you write with constraints). So, we were each given a phrase and were challenged to write a poem using only letters found in said phrase. Mine was 'Bet Down, Shine Bright' (which I quite like as a little phrase and might to some more work surrounding it). I was quite proud with mine, so I thought I'd share.

Bet Down, Shine Bright

Hit the thing with the ring so it sings;
Now hide.
Tie the tie in a bow then sigh.
Show the bone to the dog,
Show the hog how to sing.
Ding.
The dog shit,
Hit a nit with a net and neigh.
The dog downs egg-nog
Then snogs the hog.
They sit on the bed with high tog.
Now sing!

It is night and the end is nigh.

Write your own! Pick a random phrase of a website and see what you can do with it! It's a lot of fun!

I promise I'll write about finding a house soon, got three essays due in at the moment and another couple of hundered pages of reading to do by Monday, so I'm going to get on that first!

Best Wishes!

xx

On Meeting Idols (OMGJohnGreenAHHH)

Hullo all,

Sorry I've been a bit rubbish about posting (I would say 'recently' but consider I started this in September (I think?) it technically still is a 'recent' thing so I'm basically saying 'sorry for being rubbish about posting'. So, sorry.) Turns out that this university lark is a lot more work than they say it is... so much for going out and getting trashed/wasted every night!

I have so much to catch you up on, stuff that is actually quite important considering I started this blog to map how I cope being a fresher whilst still living at home (the main thing being I actually have a house for next year now!), but today is not the day when you get to learn about that. Sorry.

Today is the day, however, that I get to eeep and squeal and bounce up and down clapping my hands about the fact that yesterday I met my idol.

We (when I put 'we' here it will mean myself, my sister and (for a majority of the time) two (or sometimes three) of her friends (an occasionally a couple of northerners)) woke up at the bright an breezy hour of 5 am in order to leave our house at 6am in order to get on a bus to London at 6.45am. So that was fun. The bus journey, as most travel experiences are at the hour of the morning, was a couple of hours of mixed excitement, exhaustion, worry and planning. I felt sorry for the other passengers on the bus, who clearly were not as stoked as us, but not sorry enough to turn down the dial on my glowing mood.

We arrived in London 25 minutes ahead of schedule, which was nice and relaxing. However, it also meant we had to spend an extra 25 minutes in the bitter London wind, which wasn't fun. I don't know if a lot of non-Londoners know this - I didn't until we went to London for Les Mis in January - but London doesn't really start until 10am on a regular day. I had assumed it would start up between 8 and 9 like all the other cities in this country, but nope. 10am. Can anybody explain why?? Anyway, so as London starts at 10am on a regular day, we didn't realise that shops wouldn't open till 12am on a Sunday... Our gig/show started at 12am. This meant that there was literally NOTHING TO DO other than wander round in the bitter weather or sit huddled in a cafe. We chose the latter. I'm ashamed to say we huddled in a chain shop rather than a nice local cafe. This was partly because the chain shop was actually open, and partly because we were in Chelsea (specifically Kensington) which is notorious for being a bit expensive (for further reference/to be blown away by appalling acting/to be dumbstruck by wealth and/or beauty/for mind numbing effects: watch Made In Chelsea). At about 11 we decided to seek out the venue, which took us all of ten minutes and if we had any doubts about whether or not it was the right place, the queue quickly settled those. We joined it, got interviewed by a guy with a camera, and entered the venue.

Cadogan Hall is beautiful. Everything looks so clean and so old and its just gorgeous. We walked in and received a signed (and Hanklerfished) copy of  John Green's The Fault In Our Stars, then queued again (because no Brit can resist a good queue) and I bought a poster. Everyone at the venue was lovely. I've never been in an environment when everyone is so excited and happy and wants to meet you and make friends. A group of girls came up to us and offered us home-made and TFioS iced buns!

Then it was time for the show. John came on and said some things about writing TFioS and about writing in general and gave advice and read a bit and was generally beautiful. Here's some of what I remember he said.

He spoke about how long it had taken him to write TFioS, and I don't just mean the many drafts that became TFioS I mean the entire writing process, from wanting to write a book that featured children who were suffering and from wanting to tell the story of them and their family. This began in 2000, when he was working as a chaplain in a children's hospice. The early drafts of TFioS featured a guy who was sort of like John, but (as he said) 'Adverb. Handsome'. Following this he said (for me) his most important piece of writing advice: none of those drafts worked because they were self indulgent. Not only was he writing about himself, but he was also writing for himself. It was only when he began to write for other people, so that other people would enjoy his work, that he became a writer. Writing doesn't work when you write for yourself, or if you write to be popular or if you write to sell. As John said, he never expected TFioS to sell - so clearly he shouldn't be trusted with things like that.

Amongst all this profundity and life advice - do things for other people not just for yourself - he also said a lot of funny things. There is a line in the first few pages of TFioS where it says that everything is a side effect of dying, including cancer. Which I know doesn't sound all that funny, but it was his defence of this line (which many people disagree with) that was funny. He said that cancer is form from the death of cells, which then have to reform, as cells that don't go through this process don't get cancer. We know this because Zombies don't get cancer. John Green, everybody.

He also spoke a lot about a certain nerdfighter called Esther Earl. You can find her in the links at the bottom of this page (you can also find where to donate to This Star Won't Go Out - the charity founded in her memory). He, through Esther, was taught that however short life is it deserves to be lived. This comes across in TFioS. It is also very poignant that the story is set from the point of view of a sick person, and about their life. All too often, stories are about helathy people. They seem to suggest that the sick person is put on the planet to help them learn something. But of course one person is not alive to help another. They are there for themselves too, and if they help you along the way then that's a bonus.

After all of this, Hank came on and played some songs, they both answered questions put to them by special guest Maureen Johnson, Hank got slapped, he played some more songs and they closed with the Proclaimers 500 miles. We waited two hours in a signing queue, got our stuff signed, had a brief chat and left, very happy people.

I'm not going to go into detail about what I said to John or what I said to Hank or what they said to me, because it wasn't that groundbreaking and it's special to me. I left them both letters, which said everything I knew I wouldn't be able to say (because of time and general flusteryness). I also left a letter for Rosianna (Halse Rojas, missxrojas on the tubes) because I knew she was going to the show later, but then I saw her down stairs, said hi and thank you a lot. We left, went to another chain shop, got food, got a bus, slept a lot, got home.

It was one of those days I won't ever forget. I met the man who inspired me to read differently, to write with purpose, to be the best person I can be. And I met his equally amazing brother. And I met the beautiful Rosianna.
I think a lot of people freak out when they meet their idols. I didn't meet my idol that day, I met a man. A brilliant man, but a man none the less. He was tired, his arm was probably about to fall off and when it was over, he had to do it all again two hours later. He wasn't this amazing being, but he was human. And that was what made the day so special. I got to meet the human who did so much for me. I got to say thank you to him. I got to give him my letter. I got to tell him,

Best Wishes
xx
Esther:
www.youtube.com/user/cookie4monster4
http://tswgo.org/esthers-story.html

John and Hank:
www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers
www.fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
www.edwardspoonhands.tumblr.com

Rosianna
www.youtube.com/missxrojas
www.hermionejg.tumblr.com

Why do we study?

As a student in her second semester of uni, I've been thinking about this quite a lot. Why am I here, what worth does this have, all that kind of stuff. The scary questions, if you will. The days when a university degree meant you'd get a well paid job are long gone. Even the days when you'd be more likely to get a job graduating with a first from a reputable uni are fading fast. So, that kind of the begs the question: in a world obsessed with the acquisition of wealth, why am I paying in excess of £9,000 for my university degree.

Maybe it's because I want to postpone reality for a little bit longer? It's easy to be a student - not in the sense that the work load is easy, by any means, but in the sense that I get given money from the government to live on. I'm not expected to pay my way just yet, or to have a full time job. I don't have to worry about money problems - or at least not to the extent that "grown-ups" (and I use the term to mean adults who are not in full-time education) do. I live a relatively comfortable life - nothing is expected of me. This is very plausible.

Maybe it's because it's what I think I'm meant to do. All my life I've been told to go to uni and get a degree. That surely must have had an effect on me! But, I don't think this is the case with me. I am the first person in my family to go to uni (well, my dad got a degree with open university, but it's not exactly the same thing). I think in my parents eyes, this means I am still a child. They went straight into the world of work - they had far more responsibility at my age than I do now. But maybe they didn't - maybe it's just a different kind of responsibility?

The most likely answer I think, is a love of learning. I really enjoyed school. I know, it's strange, but I did. And I think to succeed at uni you need to enjoy learning - even if you didn't enjoy all of school, then you need to have enjoyed whatever it is you're studying. Me? I loved literature. I love sitting down and reading and for that to be an ok, worthwhile and encouraged thing. I love that I can sit and type this, and that this can be considered helpful for my degree. I enjoy lugging books around with me, seeing their beautiful spines lined up on my bookshelf, ready to be broken.

Ultimately, there's no real answer to this question. it's probably a bit of everything. But it's interesting to think about.

Best Wishes,

xx

'I'll type more posts,' she said...

Right, so, yeah. I know I said I'd try for a couple of posts a week, but these first two weeks back at uni have been hectic. I've been house hunting and have a shed load of reading to do (so much more than last term). I started this post with all the intentions of finishing it last Thursday - suffice to say that didn't happen. So pretend it's last Thursday for the time being, I'll let you know when you can escape the past again!!

*

Loving being back at uni, and it's only been a couple of days. My timetables not as good as it was last term though: I have a 9 'o' clock start now! That's almost like proper work!!

So far, I really like the sound of my seminar leaders, which is the most important thing at the end of the day. On my course, a majority of the contact time we get is in seminars, so if you didn't get on with the leader it could hold your whole grade back.

Most of my seminar leaders seem to be pretty young, no older than their mid thirties, which is quite nice. My Literature in History leader is slightly easier to understand than my last one (who was lovely, but her phrasing choices were sometimes a bit over my head). My Reading Texts tutor is really nice. She was half an hour late for our first seminar because she is new and got lost, but she filled us with confidence about her teaching credentials. She's given us a door-stop of a book to read though - she's suggesting we try to read for four hours per day! I used to think it was pretty good if I read for two! Guess I'll have to buck up my act a bit this term. On top of that book, in LiH is giving us pretty much a book a week to read, which should be interesting to say the least. The only seminar I haven't attended yet is my Writing Texts seminar. I have attended the lecture though, and it was alright, but I don't really like the lecturers style very much - although I know she's a lovely person, and our lectures change week on week so it's not a huge deal.

* Back to present *

I still feel pretty much the same about my seminar leader and my lectures as I've just said. I've been to my Writing Texts seminar now. It was alright - but the leader is a PhD student. This isn't a problem per say, but she just lacks the confidence of a regular tutor. I'm going to give her a couple of weeks, but if I don't get on with her I might ask to move groups. She seems like a lovely person, but at the end of the day I'm the one paying a ridiculous amount of money for this, so I want the best I can get out of it, y'know?

Recently my whole world has been consumed with housing, housing and more housing. We have a back up property, but we want to make sure we get a nice place that suits us all - so far proving to be a little tricky not only because we've maybe left it a little late, but also the weather is so not on our side. It's pretty much snowed constantly for the past 5 days, which means I've been stuck at home unable to get onto uni campus. So I've had to miss a couple of viewings, which sucks. I trust the judgement of my fellow house mates though! So hopefully things will turn out ok.

Some words on the snow then. I love the snow, don't get me wrong. But I am kind of ready for it either to GO AWAY or, more importantly, GET OFF THE ROADS. I almost got stranded in Norwich the first night it snowed, so now I understand why grown-ups always moaned about it so much when I was little.

Speaking of getting stuck in Norwich and housing - my housemate had a bonding session for us and cooked us a roast! How lovely is that!!

Right, I'm typing this in the uni library, so I should probably do some work now...

Best Wishes!

xx

The Art of Fielding Review (SPOILERS)

 Basically this book will make you feel all of the things. As John Green once wrote “Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” That's how I feel about this book.



SPOILERS FROM HERE

This book was beautiful. From the first five pages I had fallen in love with all of the characters. Henry is a well rounded character, carefuly crafted so the reader likes him despite the fact he's good at something and despite his mistakes he makes (mainly having a realtionship with his best friends girlfriend - I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE SPOILERS IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT). Equally Mike is the kind of guy you'd love to be mates with, he sticks up for what he belives him - even if it's at the expense of himself. The realtionship between Owen and Affenlight is believable - despite the fact that these are the two most two dimensional of the main characters (Owen is 'only gay' and Affenlight is 'only the handsome older professor' - although they do have other characteristics too). The reader pities Pella, once again despite her flaws and mistakes (the realationship with Henry).

I don't have much to say about the plot. I enjoyed it, it was interesting throughout the whole of the 500 or so pages, but I don't think it had a specific message. More like multiple messages, depending on which character you most identified with. Ultimately this was a book driven by its characters and characterisation, which is no bad thing.

I particularly liked the characterisation of Pella. She was a female character who had issues other than her physical appearance. She had qualities other than that of a sex object - when she had sex it was for her not for a guy. She is rebellious and independant and fiesty. I liked that.

So, yeah. Good book.

Rating: 5 stars

TTFN xx

Reflection and Resolution

Ok, so it's the New Year. A time for reflection and a time of resolutions. So I guess this is what this post will be about.

Catch-up-time: The last time I posted I was a bit down - not just with a hideous illness that wouldn't clear itself for weeks, but also with life. I felt a bit alone and very lost. However, a couple days after that post things began to look up. Firstly, one of my uni friends suggested we live together, so it's looking like I might actually have the makings of a plan for next year. Which can only be a good thing. As much as I love my family, their constant jibes about how I'm an adult so I should be doing things more independently (every time I ask for their advice) are more than getting on my nerves. Secondly, Christmas happened. I love Christmas, the food, the company, the present giving - all of it. There is something inherently lovely about a time of year when people cuddle up by the fire and give each other things to let each other know they love them. I just like that a lot. When I was little I used to just get excited about the gifts, and whilst unwrapping a present will never lose it's tiny thrill, the act of giving the perfect gift is even better.

All of this hasn't been without it's complications. My 'home-friends' have all been missing the love a little. We didn't really meet up at all through November, which made us all feel unwanted, left out and alone, and all of us were completely oblivious to the fact each other felt like that. It's started to look up again now. I think we've began to realise that the nature of our friendship is changing - its growing into something more mature and we need to be more mature about it. It's so easy to hang out with the home crew because everything just slides back into normal. It's just nice. And I think we're appreciating the good times a bit more now.

Things are looking up now. I'm an optimistic person. That's not always a good thing - it leaves me open to disappointment and heart ache. But I always argue that if I do get hurt I'll mend easier because I look forwards, not backwards. New Years is a time for looking forwards. Here are my resolutions - or rather my goals - for the next 12 months:

1) Stop texting whilst I'm in conversation - I do it far too often and it's just rude, particularly if I'm with people who i don't get to see so often.

2) Update this blog more regularly. I have all these ideas for posts and I never get around to writing them. That needs to change. I'm not promising once or twice a week, but at least every fortnight would be good for me.

3) Compile a portfolio - all this last semester I got given a lot of starting material and was told to write this up to create a portfolio. Needless to say, I haven't done this yet. This is more of a short term goal, but I really need to achieve this.

4) Read more - not just course stuff but I need to make time for reading. If I have some down time, I need to get off the Internet or turn off the telly, put on the kettle and curl up with a book. Recently I read a book that re-kindled my love of good literature (I'll review it soon) and I just spent half of yesterday reading with the fella (I didn't have much choice - he borrowed 'Catching Fire' and powered through it. I fell asleep whilst he read till 1.20am. He took 'Mockingjay' with him.) so hopefully that'll encourage me.

5) Be proactive. I have a habit of doing the easy thing - especially when that easy thing is sit and do nothing. I need to, to borrow a phrase from Hank Green, grab life by the testicles. This is the most important of all my resolution, and it kind of encompasses them all. It's only by being proactive that I'll be able to achieve my goals. It's gone past the time in my life when I can breeze through - I need to work hard. And that's not a bad thing.

And finally, 6) Say no. Over the past term I've found myself getting more and more exhausted. that's why I was so ill - I was too tired. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind and I can feel myself slowly getting more and more shattered again. I've got to learn i can say no, and I can focus on myself for every so often.

Be strong, be true, be good and spread love.

TTFN xx

Show-girl-cowboys, Illness and Uni

Got a lot to cover this post so let's get cracking, eh?

I went to see Father John Misty perform last Wednesday. I safely say it was simulatneously one of the sexiest and strangest performances I've ever seen. He stood on stage dressed like a chic cowboy (light loose-fit blue coton shirt tucked into jeans with a large-buckeled brown belt) and sung folky/country/blues, but he performed like a lack-lustre 1930's show-girl. It was... strange to say the least. But so sexy. Somehow. Just trust me on this.

I went with a couple of my friends for one of their parents birthday's. His dad bought us a drink, as did his dad's friend. (Side note: Hot Spiced Cider is delicious. It tastes of Autumn and is beautiful) His dad's friend was drooling over the fact that both me and my lady flavoured friend liked tequila AND had transport. It was funny.

The next day I had a horrific cold. I didn't feel that ill, but I was coughing all over the shop.

It hit me on Friday. I spent all day in bed, feeling very sorry for myself, and watched the entire Lord of The Rings trillogy. My thoughts on this were as follows:

1) Frodo is annoying. Sam should've had the ring (although that might just make him annoying too).
2) They should've ditched Pippin early on (although I loved him in Return of the King).
3) The parts with Aragorn and Legolas and Dawrf whose name I can't remember were my favourites.
4) Need I say more?

- Sorry if this post feels disjointed. I'm talking to my friend at the same time and keep getting distracted -

ANYWAY

Now onto slightly more sombre matters. Uni. For the first time I've properly felt as if I've been missing out on stuff by not living on campus. Everyone is looking to get houses together and I just don't have that solid group of poeple I've been living with, so it's a bit more awkward for me. It's not like I don't have people I'm tight with, but they live with people so the chances are they have an idea of who they want to live with. I'm sure I'll figure it out, it's just hard. Especially seeing everyone's pictures of themselves in their flats and I'm stuck at home. The bus journeys have started to take their toll too. Just. End of term syndrome I think. I hope.

Sorry how rubbish this post was...

TTFN xx

Profundity at Music Gigs

Last night I went to see the incredible Frank Turner. If you don’t know who he is, then give a couple of his songs a listen straight away! It was one of the best gigs I’ve ever been to in my life, for several reasons.

Firstly, Frank himself. All his songs are very emotive – they’re more than just wishy-washy love songs. They are intended to be heard, to be consumed and to be sung along to. They are war cries and drinking songs. A lot of his music is politically motivated (I did my A level English Language coursework on his lyrics) and that, combined with his performance creates a very strong sense of collective identity. Nearing the end of his gig (or even during the encore) Frank made a small speech on this point. I didn’t record this and I didn’t write it down, but it has stuck with me. He was thanking us for being there to support him and he made the point about how beautiful a music gig is. He basically said “You come here and you leave everything else at the door. You put aside your differences, of class, of religious beliefs, of political beliefs and you come together as a collective. As one.  As a community of people who just want to listen to some music, to dance, to clap to sing and have a fucking good time. And I thank you for that” (note: this has been paraphrased slightly but this was the gist of it). That really struck a chord with me, how a couple of thousand strangers could all come together, united by one thing. And there wasn’t any hatred that night. There wasn’t any fear. It was just about sharing a beautiful experience with friends. Music gigs really are beautiful.

Secondly, the support. The first support band were ok, as far as supports go they were even pretty good. Not sure I’d pay to see them, but I wouldn’t switch stations on the radio and I might even check them out on line (Jim Lockey and the Solemn Sun – although I didn’t remember that from the night, I just looked them up through Frank’s website). The second support act was INCREDIBLE however – although not for the reasons you might expect.

He played traditional, old American-Woody-Guthrie-style acoustic music – and anyone who’s heard Woody will know that’s not exactly pretty or dancey. What it is, though, is powerful. It’s strong and emotive and it tells a story. Tim Barry was probably one of the most sincerely humble support acts I’ve ever seen. He didn’t just say “thanks to Frank for having me” but he told us how much he admired and respected Frank, how much of an amazing performer he thought it was. He said how he was honoured to support him and was honoured to be playing for us and that we’re standing around listening to his stuff. And that in itself was deeply touching. He also said one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard at a music gig (and I wrote this down on the back of my hand when he said it):

“I’m not afraid of dying; I’m afraid of not living”

I thought that was a beautiful sentiment. It summed up perfectly the message of the tour – it was called the “Last Minutes and Lost Evenings” tour which is taken from a line of Frank’s song “I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous” which ends with:

“Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings, about fire in our belly’s and about furtive little feelings, and the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering and help us to remember that the only things that’s left to do is live. After all of the loving and the loosing, for the heroes and the pioneers’ the only thing that’s left to do is get another round in at the bar!”

And isn’t that a perfect little sentiment.

Anyway, all of that got me thinking how ridiculous it is to spend your whole life worrying. It reminded me a lot of the view that is expressed by Margo Roth Spiegelman, a character in John Green’s novel “Paper Towns”. She see’s how vapid the world is, she see’s its faults, how “life has become the future”, and how wrong that is. Now I don’t 100% agree with her view – I think you’ve got to think about the future a little bit. But I do mostly agree with Tim Barry.

It’s ok to be afraid of dying, so long as you’re not afraid of living.

TTNF xx

Links: http://frank-turner.com/  - Frank Turner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c21SfaAwBw0  - I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous

Currently Reading: The Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens

Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde

The Art Of Writing Fiction by Andrew Cowan

An Apology, A Memory and A Poem

Hey gang, it's been far too long and I have no excuses!!

Anyone who followed the link in my last post will know that I have miserably failed at NaNoWriMo this year. It's not that I didn't have enough time, or that I couldn't think about what to write (I actually had a semi decent plot arc for Toby and friends). Truth be told I was just lazy. I'd forgotten how time consuming it was to write NaNo, how mentally and emotionally draining it was, how much sacrifice had to go into it, and when it came down to it I prioritised my social life (and to a certain (more acceptable extent, Uni work) over NaNo. I don't necessarily think that's a crime, but I am somewhat disappointed that I couldn't see it through - for Toby's sake as much as my own self pride etc.

Anyway, this post wasn't going to be long or rambling, but rather a memory.

I just spent the last five or so minutes battling with a Parker Pen - trying to release it from its packaging, to be precise - and all the time I kept wondering: "Why do these pens need to be vacuum-packed in plastic! It makes this so difficult! Ow, my hand!!"

Then I remembered my childhood, when I used to receive "Barbie" dolls as presents. One of the most fun parts of receiving the Barbe doll wasn't the clothes you could dress her up in, or if you could cut her hair or whatever, but the act of opening the packaging. Barbie came in a box - almost like a shoe box. Firstly you had to remove Barbie and her background from the box. Barbie was attached to her background by wire ties, and I would laboriously unwind each tie, carefully straighting it out in order to remove it without damaging the background. Them, much like the Parker Pen, I had to  carefully remove the clothing and accessories from the vacuum-packed plastic containers. I would do this delicately, careful not to damage the precious items. I'd then lay out everything, and begin to play. Now, this might sound somewhat arduous for a 4, 5, 6, 7 year old girl, but I loved it. It just hit me, at 18, that the magic had vanished from opening a package. And that made me sad.

In other, less depressing news, I have taken to performing my poetry. I know. Considering that I only really started writing poetry in September, that's a bit of a risky move. But it seems to have gone ok so far. One of my poems (about rape) appears to go down really well when I perform it, but I think I'll post that another time, as I enjoy discussions around rape culture in our society. I say "enjoy", I really mean that I don't think it gets discussed enough - it tends to get hidden away when it should be fore fronted for all its issues.

This poem began as a song, but turned into a beat poem. It's called:

 The Girl In The Corner Looking Nervous

She’s sipping spirits from a shot glass,

Praying the scummy boys won’t touch her arse

But, with a skirt down to her knees,

She’s not showing much arse to squeeze.

And she’s only got subtle make-up on,

Wondering how you can be comfy in a lacy thong.

She hasn’t got up to dance;

She thinks you’ve got to wait to be asked.

 

The decadence of the scene perturbs her;

The hedonists and perverts

Clamour all around and make her nervous,

The boys and girls offering service.

She doesn’t like the push and shove at the bar

Would much rather be relaxing in some fancy spa.

She’s wearing perfume by Chanel

As if anyone here could tell!

 

She doesn’t approve of promiscuity,

Although that might change after a drink or three,

But she won’t cause she’s counting her units

And she doesn’t approve of the music.

She thinks all her peers are disgusting

With all their making out and thrusting,

So she just stares at the debauchery with her doe eyes

Sat alone in the corner for the whole night.

 

And her tan’s not fake it’s from St. Tropez.

And she’s knows just what they say:

“You’re far too prim to be in here love,

Why don’t you take off those white gloves?

Take some bobby pins out of your up do,

Show the other girls how you can move!

I’m not saying you’ve gotta get down and dirty,

But it’s wouldn’t hurt just to be a little flirty,

And you never know you  might quite like it

If only you had the balls to try it.”

 

Hopefully I'll start posting more frequently again!

TTFN! xx


Currently Reading: The Old Curiousity Shop by Charles Dickens
Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde
The Art of Writing Fiction by Andrew Cowan

NaNoWriMo

So, for this month I'm taking part in National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a novel of 50,000 words in November. I won last year, and want to make a streak of it. I'm already miles behind and I'm publisghing my noevl on line in a series of blog posts as I go. Scary.

If you want to read my novel follow this link: www.tobyisajuggler.blogspot.com
If you fancy taking part in NaNo: www.nanowrimo.org
If you're already part of Nano, add me as a buddy! My name is CurlyWurly

TTFN! xx

The Girl Sitting Opposite Me In The Library Looks Like The Spit Of Jennifer Lawrence

I don't know how anybody expects me to concentrate...

Procrastination and Poetry

It's amazing the lengths I will go to procrastinate. This right here is a prime example of my procrastination. Right now I should be either writing an essay that's due in tomorrow, or reading a text (as in a piece of literature not a phoney-type-text) in preparation for Thursday, or (most importantly) considering the questions set out in yesterdays lecture for today's seminar (yikes). But, nevertheless, procrastinate I shall, and if I must procrastinate then what better place to do it than in front of you, the fine people of the internet. (By the by, if you are reading this, drop me a comment to say hi or what not. It'd be lovely to hear from you - particularly if you are one of the people who are visiting this little blog from the Netherlands or Turkey (as Google tells me you are)).

Anyway. Procrastination. Yes.

(As an aside, there is something slightly ironic about the fact that I had to put myself back to track to talk about procrastination, of all things...)

Yesterday I bought a book for my Creative Writing course called "The Art Of Writing Fiction" by Andrew Cowan. Whilst procrastinating from reading "The Pilgrims Progress", which continues to be exceedingly dull, I began to flick through it's pages. Exercise two caught my eye. It goes pretty much as follows:

Imagine you are sitting at your work space ready to write, what things do you to before actually putting pen to paper or fingers to keys? Each activity is worth certain points.
Fiddling (straighting sheets of paper etc): 1 point each
Almost-work-related-distractions (tidying the folders on your computer): 2 points each
Stalling (tidying your room, making coffee etc): 3 points each
Dreaming (more than ten minutes out of a window, more than five with head on desk): 3 points each
Skiving (writing emails, making phone calls etc): 5 points each
Absconding (gardening, decorating etc): 10 points each

0-10: Completely abnormal, relax.
11-20: A necessary amount, but beware of relapse.
21-30: Perhaps these things should have been done earlier...
31+: Completely abnormal, worry.

Tallying up my points I found I was in the 21-30 category... so not too bad but room for improvement. However, it was an interesting exercise to perform, being self-analytical of things you normally wouldn't notice. It also made me consider how procrastination can sometimes be a very helpful thing, how it can let you get round to those jobs you've been putting off for months or allow you to open your mind to something creative that you wouldn't normally do- which could very well be the inspiration for a new venture.

Speaking of which (classy little segue, I know) I was at my Creative Writing Societies (CWS) first open mic night Monday last week. It was fascinating and totally inspirational. Now, I'm not much of a poet, but since then I've written two pieces, both of which I might perform tonight at their Extra Virgin open mic. Scary stuff. One of the pieces is about rape culture, and I want to discuss it in more depth, so I might post that another day, but this piece I'm happy to post now. As I said it was inspired by the showcase, and when walking home from that the fella said "I can imagine you up there reading poetry about pretty boys". This was the result:

My (Ex)Boyfriend’s Haircut

Pretty Boy;

Floppy Hair.

Across the room,

I stop, he stares.

Feel his eyes
Caress my skin.
Catch an eye;
A cheeky grin.

Skinny jeans

Sit low on hips
Eyebrows raised
He bites a lip

Feel the blush

Rise in my cheeks.
Try to pluck
The courage to speak.

He saunters over

Confident.
Offers a drink,
A proper gent.

One drink turns

To two, then three.
Place my hand
Upon his knee.

Four months I leave it

Resting there.
Then Pretty Boy
Cuts his hair.

Average Boy;
Shaven head.
Think I’ll find
A Pretty Boy instead.



So there you have it. My first "creative writing" output on the internet. Although, as we discussed in my first Creative Writing Workshop, was even constitutes as "Creative Writing"?

By the by, as much as I would love to I can't really discuss the content of either of my Creative Writing classes on here. It's a "sacred space" and all that. Y'know. Gutting. But I am LOVING them with all my heart and soul, despite it being early days yet and all that.

TTFN! xx

Currently Reading: The Pilgrims Progress (Oxford World Edition) by John Bunyan
Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde
The Art of Writing Fiction by Andrew Cowan

FRESHERS! Report (with LOTS OF CAPS - apparently)

Here goes!

Day 1: Sunday night Ice-Breaker Party. Being a home-student (and with none of the other home students I know going) I turned up all on my todd. At the same time as I walked in, so did three other girls, so I started talking to them. We soon found out we were all home students - so I made my first Uni friends! Really fun night, everyone just wandering up to each other saying hi and chatting and dancing. Although, apparently, a lot of people's idea of an ice-breaker is to dance up to someone then make out with their face. Which, y'know, is fair enough I suppose. So long as both parties are willing. Didn't really appreciate the random guy who lured me in by ballerina-twirling me trying to shove his face into mine... Although the two guys me and the local ladies were dancing with didn't seem to mind it too much when two random girls started rubbing themselves up and down them. If you're imagining the Baloo back-scratching scene from the Jungle Book mid Bare Necessities, you're not too far off. If Baloo was in a skin-tight LBD that is... ANYWAY. Yes. Good night.

Day 2: Monday morning at the sprightly hour of 10:45 I have to register to confirm my attendance etc. For most students this would involved rolling out of bed at 10 maybe? Showering and getting them selves together because its early-days and everybody wants to make a good impression, then stumbling down to the Congregation Hall to register. For the home student in involves getting up at half-eight to make the half nine train, then running from train station to bus stop and a half hour bus journey. Yeah. Not as fun, right?

So I registered fine, went and picked up my campus card, then met up a boy from my college as well as a girl I used to know. We hung out in one of our Uni's cafes (known as The Hive) for a while, then went into the Fresher's Fare. It was mental. Easily one of the most crowded room I've ever been in, a mass of bodies, a collection of currents that were constantly in battle, vying for dominance, and the brave souls who jumped from stream to bustling stream. I got separated from my friends pretty early on, and trapped in the mass had to let myself be taken around the room, picking up free food, drinks and vouchers (and a shed load of pens) as I went.

By the time I escaped, had sorted out my possessions and met up with my friends, it was pretty much time for my first introductory lecture. In the lecture theatre I sat next to a boy who, as it happened is on my course. Since then, I have seen him around a lot and we always say hi and have a chat. Yay for new friends! After the lecture I met up with one of the girls I had met the night before, then headed home. No night out for me this night, which I was a little upset about at the time, but do not regret at all now.

Day 3: Tuesday was a crazy busy day for me. Loads of introductory lectures that simultaneously terrified me and excited me. I love being back in a learning environment. Had lunch then went to the SOC Mart with some girls from my course and signed up for a couple of societies (notably Creative Writing) then went back to their halls with them and hung out for the afternoon.

In the evening I met up with the girl I had met at ice-breaker and together we went to the T-Shirt party. The premise of this was you got a t-shirt and had to write various bits of information on it (your name, where you come from and what you were studying). This was, as it turns out, a great idea. It made meeting people really easy. Top night.

Day 4: By this time I felt pretty exhausted from meeting so many new people, but luckily I didn't have a busy day. The only thing I had to do was to meet with my personal adviser (who was lovely) and have a look around the Sports Mart to see if I wanted to sign up to any societies. I signed up for Yoga and Pole Dancing. Whilst looking around I met up with some girls from my course, which was nice.

In the afternoon I met up with my best friend to help him buy a bracelet for his mum's birthday and to say goodbye as he was off to uni soon. We had hot chocolate and shared a brownie. Pretty emotional.

That evening was Zane Lowe. Me and my clubbing buddy from day 1 showed up fifteen minuets late, but the place was dead. As we were sitting with our drinks a couple third years clearly on the lookout for fresh meat came up to chat. They were really nice, but so obviously flirting. Me and one of the guys exchanged numbers after he bought me a drink. Which was probably a bad move - as he then used this to blackmail me into giving him a kiss on the cheek. At the bar he kept putting his hands on my waist and playing with my hair, and when we sat down he started stroking my leg. It was only after I kept talking about the guy who I'm seeing that he finally stropped off. It was upsetting, because he was funny to talk to (he reminded me of my ex who would flirt by winding the other person up, and I knew exactly how to counter it - take them seriously).

The first half of Zane Lowe's set was dire, but the second half was sick! Most of his crowd interaction was him shouting "Put your hands up, put your fucking hands up!" but it was pretty fun. A topless guy came up to me and asked me to help him dress himself. We got chatting and he gave me his number. He was a pretty nice guy. Overall, a really fun night.

Day 5: Thank god Thursday was an easy day for me! The only thing I had on was a party 6-8 followed by a night in the city. Spent the day chilling, then dressed up and headed into the city. This was the only time time when I've a had a serious issue with buses - it was sooo late! I would have been more annoyed but my bestie-boy-type-friend called me up from Glasgow! Yay! We had a lovely chat which was lovely.

The party was fun, hang out with the girls on my course again (I should probably decide if I should use their actual names or give them nicknames or code names on here... hmmm). We got chatting to these two guys, and the group divided into two. Myself and two of the girls were chatting to a boy from Teeside, just about basic studenty stuff (eg. homesickness, missing healthy food, that kinda thing) when we overheard the conversation from the other group. They were very seriously talking about how Wuthering Heights wasn't a Gothic novel. Um? Hello! It is one of THE Gothic novels?!? (Again a time when we need an interrobang on the keyboard). Anyway. We then got chatting about more serious Englishy-stuff then moved on to the local area. One guy joked that he's only been sent here to improve the gene pool, not "because I'd got three A's at A level or anything" *guffaw guffaw* That kinda thing really winds me up. We are ALL on the SAME COURSE more or less, so we ALL got GOOD GRADES. For all he knew, we could've all got better than him. If I'd wanted to, I could have said "yeah, the reason they wanted me to stick around was because I got three A*'s and an A" but I didn't because everyone on the course deserves to be there. ARGH!

Going into town was great, plus I got to see the guy I'm seeing for the first time since Anna Karenina and since he got back from Denmark. He kept joking about how he was going to shave his head into a Scandinavian Top Knot but Oh My GOD he ACTUALLY shaved his head into a top knot. It didn't look as bad as you might think, but still. I miss his old hair (a thing I keep telling him, although I should probably stop because it's his hair, at the end of the day). His bestie, who had also been to Denmark, was there, and I swear to god he is one of the loveliest guys I have ever met. So genuinely kind. Little bit of a crush on him, truth me told. Tall, dark hair, basket ball player...

We also met up with my one of my bestest lady-flavoured-friends and a guy who she had just split up with but was trying to stay friends with... which was a little strange and TENSE to say the least. Our favourite Ninja-Russian friend also came along. I love him more and more with each meeting.

The night ended with me going back with the fella and his mate - safest taxi ride ever!

Day 6: We pick up where we left off, with me waking up in a house that wasn't mine all alone - as the fella and his mum had both gone to work. Strange. I didn't have to go into uni, but I wanted to go to the first Creative Writing Soc Meet (as well as get my bus pass and pick up my first dossier (huge and green but also kinda exciting)). The CWS workshop was amazing! I loved it! Everyone was so lovely and friendly and ahhh. They are all ME! Yay! We went down to the union bar afterwards - so nice. I got chatting to the treasurer (who was a PhD student) as well as couple of Freshers.

I didn't go out Friday night and ended up crashed out by 9pm. When the little sister came home at 11, she was stunned when she was told to be quiet so as not to wake me: "What?!? She's HOME?!?"

Day 7: Saturday night was the last official Freshers thing. I went round one of the girls I'd met at Ice Breaker and her dad gave us shots before heading out to get the bus. When we arrived there weren't many people, but then The Regurgitator from BGT came on stage to perform. It was pretty impressive: he swallowed a load of fairy liquid and cigarette smoke then blew a bubble of smoke. And he swallowed a load of gas and blew a bubble of that too, before setting it alight in his palm. Mid way through the performance, topless Zane Lowe guy came up and we started chatting. Turns out he's a super nice guy, and we chatted about football and his girlfriend and my fella and stuff. It was a really nice conversation. I had to leave shortly after as I had work the next day, but all in all, a super fun evening!

So that was pretty much the end of Freshers. Overall I had a good time, but no crazy Freshers stories really. I would have loved to have been in halls, but I managed to get on fine without it. It perhaps made me a little more sober but after the previous week I don't think that was a bad thing. I met a load of lovely people who I will hopefully be friends with. Yay!

TTFN! xx

Currently Reading: The Pilgrims Progress (Oxford World Classics Edition) by John Bunyan
                                Shades of Grey (Hodder) by Jasper Fforde

Reasons Why I am a Massive Girl

It's strange how things happen sometimes. Little coincidences that kind of feel like more than just coincidences, even though that is all they are.

On Thursday the guy who I have this "thing" with went to Copenhagen to visit his brother who has just moved out there for the next two years. The next day I get a text from my ex, giving me his new phone number. Now that in itself isn't all that strange - the text was just a mass text, not an attempt to re-kindle lost romance.

But then today happened. I get a text from a guy who I was seeing briefly (we went on walks together, the pub occasionally and I went over to his house to watch a movie once). Now that *is* strange. We didn't end on the best of terms (he had just got out of a really big relationship when we started seeing each other so didn't really want a relationship, but all the signs he was giving indicated that he was up for one. I wasn't ready for another relationship, but he didn't really understand that. I asked him if he was messing me around and he said yes.) but because we got on well, we kinda kept in contact. By in contact I mean once or twice a month one or the other of us would text and we would make small talk about what we were up to or how we were - by no means a close friendship. For the past couple months, I've been the one getting in contact, but today he text me. For all intents and purposes out of the blue. Our last exchange of texts had essentially been me saying that we couldn't go back to how things were four months ago, as I had started this thing with my friend. So it was a bit strange that he text me. Nice, but strange.

Now, I am fully aware that this is all a massive coincidence. And yes, Freshers is soon so the chance I will meet new people (new guys?) is on the cards, and the guy with the thing is away and we aren't an actual couple, but... really?

So. Just being a massively stereotypical girly girl. Sigh.

In other news, one of my best friends left for Uni today! We had a lovely meal at The Bell and girly chats. She will be sorely missed - and if by some chance she stumbles upon this little corner of the Internet: GOOD LUCK HONEY!!

TTFN! xx

Just Finished: Flappers and Philosophers (Kindle edition) by F. Scott. Fitzgerald. Rating: ****
Currently Reading:  The Pilgrims Progress (Kindle edition) by John Bunyan.

Anna Karenina (SPOILERS) and Bitches Be Crazy

Like it says in the title: WARNING! THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! Just so's y'all aware.

Remember. SPOILERS. So feel free to exercise your free will and go right ahead and not read this, ok? Good. Just double checking we are on the same page over here.

So initial thoughts: I enjoyed this film. I really did. There weren't any points when I sat there thinking about what I wanted for tea or anything like that. It was engaging and intriguing. For some reason I'm not raving about this film, and I can't quite put my finger on why. It might have something to do with the fact I didn't read the book first, and the two male leads (played by Jude Law and Aaron Taylor-Johnson) both have the same first name, or maybe because at one point the (overall excellent) cinematography made me a little dizzy. But all of those things I can completely overlook for the following reasons.

Background info/basic plot-type-thing: So, Anna Karenina (as a film) is based on the Leo Tolstoy novel of the same name and stars many fabulous actors, including Kiera Knightly (who I will be eternally infatuated with), Jude Law (ditto), Aaron Taylor-Johnson (ditto) and Matthew MacFadyen (oh come on guys he was Darcy! Obviously I am going to be madly in love with him! The 2005 adaptation of P&P is still my favourite adaptation. Think about it. Him. Kiera. Rupert Friend. Carey Mulligan. Donald Sutherland. See what I mean...).

It follows the story of Anna (Knightly)- a rich Russian woman -who is married to a much older man, Alexei Karenina (Law) - a prominent politician - with whom she has a son. Her son is the centre of her world at the beginning of the film. Her brother Oblongsky (MacFadyen) has been having an affair, so Anna goes to visit her sister-in-law (Dolly - played by the amazing actress Kelly MacDonald) to try to convince her to take him back. Whilst she is there she goes to a party with Dolly and Dolly's sister Kitty. It is at this party that we are introduced to Kitty's two suitors - Levin (a wealthy land owner) and Count Vronsky (Taylor-Johnson). Levin is madly in love with Kitty and proposes to her - she turns him down in favour of Vronsky. However, at this party Vronsky meets Anna (technically for the second time - they also met at a train station when Vronsky gave money to the family of a worker who had just been run over by the train he was fixing) and it becomes very clear that they are attracted to one-another. Kitty is distraught and Anna, feeling guilty, returns quickly home. However, Vronsky follows her and they begin a passionate affair, with Anna eventually falling pregnant. There is a very complicated situation in which Alexei refuses to divorce Anna on the grounds it will ruin her, but eventually after the birth of the child he begins the divorce procedure. Anna is rejected from society and, highly aware of the whispers that follow her, becomes increasingly jealous of the attention she perceives Vronsky giving to other women, and is convinced he is having an affair (as Dolly tells her "men never change").

Meanwhile, both Levin and Kitty are miserable, however Levin has the added concern of a very ill brother who is also revolutionary anti-capitalist. Levin finally plucks up the courage to ask Kitty to marry him again (with a little help from Oblongsky) and they appear to have a happy future together.

Anna, on the other hand becomes increasingly more manic and convinced of Vronsky's falling out of love with her, and so throws herself under a train. The film ends with Alexei sitting in a field, happily watching his son and Anna's daughter play together.

So, as you can its a pretty complicated story, even with only the bare bones. The whole film was set in a theatre, which I adored, and with many of the scene changes the camera simply followed the main character as they walked from set to set, with extras pulling in new furniture or pulling down backdrops. This was such a clever idea - and even though it made me a little dizzy at points - it added such a sense of atmosphere and also entrapment, which became vital as the film reached it's conclusion.

The acting performances were incredible. There wasn't a single character who was weak. I particularly enjoyed MacFadyen's performance as he held some light comic relief for the film without detracting for its dark plot.

The thing I most enjoyed about the film, however, was it's presentation of women in the late 19th century. Women are completely trapped within society. It is acceptable for a man (in this case Oblongsky) to have a series of affairs and still be deemed a respectable gentleman. Anna, on the other hand, is condemned by most of society for her affair  (with the exception of Dolly, Princess Betsy and Princess Myagkaya). She has no escape, except madness and, ultimately death. This is a theme that is reflected through literature over centuries, from Shakespeare to Bronte. Madness is the final escape of a women who is perceived to me damned (multiple times throughout the film Anna and Alexei refer to her damnation).

This struck a particular chord with me as the guy I went to see the film with and I had been discussing how women go "crazy" in relationships. He argued that women go more crazy than men, and recounted from his personal experiences with girls he had been in relationships with. I argued that women and men go equally crazy, just if a man goes crazy it is perceived as sweet and "oh my gosh look how in love he is with you", whereas is if a women goes crazy then she is psycho, creepy, something to be avoided. It amazed me that this was still so prevalent in society today - a society that prides itself of equal rights and anti-discrimination. The complete sexism of the perception of the emotional states of men and women. It disgusted me that we still viewed the world in this way, and also made me reflect on the different escapes women have for their emotions now as opposed to a century or so ago. Luckily we have a lot more outlets. Women are allowed to be viewed feeling and experiencing the same emotions as men - through literature and art and self-expression. And the fact we are allowed that shouldn't be undervalued. But to be honest, it shouldn't have been something we were "allowed" by men. It should have been accepted as norm a long, long time ago. That is what is so hideous about society. It still holds patriarchal values. Films like this highlight how recently these values were held so much stronger than they are today, as well as the fragility with which they are held.

Recommended reading: www.justmargaret.tumblr.com she posts some excellent things on feminism and you should probably check her out.

Anyway, I am told that the book was better than the film, so I'll be reading that as soon as I can.
Rating: 4 stars

TTFN!! xx

Currently Reading: Flappers and Philosophers (Kindle edition) by F. Scott. Fitzgerald.